Whoa, Hey, What's Going On Here?
by SirAvery
Summary: During a marching band performance, a band geek falls into M.E. bringing with her everything that makes a band geek epic! NOT a Mary-Sue! Written for all you under appreciated band geeks :D It's been decided: EomerxOC!
1. Marching Band!

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or Marching Band!**

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><p>"Reset 16 counts," Mr. Zach called through the microphone. Everyone in the marching band huffed and ran back to their spots, doing their best not to get run over by a random tuba or tenor drums. I rolled back on my heels in boredom, and watched as our drum major, Amelia, began to count off.<p>

I waited for four counts before coming in on my cymbal roll, starting at piano before a gradual crescendo to forte. Mr. Zach called down from the box, "Keep going!"

Four counts later, I was racing around a marimba towards the vibes. I gasped as my foot slipped on the wet grass, but I managed to regain my footing and reach the vibes in time. Mr. Zach stopped us just before I could play, calling, "Aaaand, stop there!"

James, standing in front of the timpani, called, "Nice one, Sammmyyyyy." He shot me a thumbs up.

"Shut up, troll!" I called back, laughing, as the field staff began to work on the horns on the field.

"Children, settle down," Anthony mock scolded. He was our section leader of the front ensemble (or just pit), and a senior.

"NO!" James and I yelled at the same time, then burst out laughing.

"You guys are crazy," Ashley muttered, grinning. She was our pit instructor, around 27 with two children.

"DENIED!" the three of us yelled at the same time.

"Okay, let's try that again. Reset two sets," Mr. Zach called, and I carefully stepped around the marimba, noticing that the grass was slick with rain and frost.

"The field's going to be slippery," Anthony murmured as Mr. Zach tried to get the trombones and clarinets in order.

"Ya know, last week's show at Halsburg would have been good for this week," James complained. "They have turf!"

"Who cares about turf?" Jordan, a freshmen, snickered.

"We do," the three of us said simultaneously.

"I'm probably going to kill myself," I added. "Seriously, I have to race around the most out of the four of us! I start out on the vibes, then dodge a xylophone, jump over the gong, fight off ninjas, and THEN come in on the marimba in, like, four counts! And that's only a small section of the first song!"

James imitated ninja moves. "We should have an epic game of ninja during break!"

"In Hannaford," Anthony added. The amazing thing about our school is that across the road, in the front, is a small path leading to the back of Hannaford. Oh yeah, epic lunch break!

"With free cookies!" I cheered.

"You know, they put chemicals in them so you don't eat too much," Jordan piped up.

"DENIED!" I yelled. "And even if they do, TOO BAD SUCKAHS!"

"MAINE ACCENT!" James yelled.

"You know it," I laughed.

"Alright, alright, SET!" Mr. Zach yelled.

Amelia counted us off again, and we played the part. Mr. Zach called for us to keep going, so I went over to the bells. As I waited to come in, a member of the colorguard accidentally whacked me in the back of the head with her flag. "Sorry!" she whispered hurriedly before racing off in the field.

I groaned, rubbing the back of my head, and missed my cue to come in. James was laughing hysterically as he pounded away on the timpani. I gave him the evil eye as I quickly moved my mallets over the keys.

We came to the end of the song. Mr. Zach had us hold our poses for a moment, before letting us relax. "Alright, all of the staff is going to leave. You guys are going to have a run-throw of the show, then come back and have your lunch break. The bus is leaving at one, so make sure you're on it. Remember, this is the last run-throw of the season, so make it your best!" he called, then paused and added, "But make sure when you play at finals, THAT one is your best!"

Ah, finals. Band camp seemed so long ago...HALLOWEEN IS IN TWO DAYS! I was too busy cheering over this thought that I missed the band exit the field to get in their lines, ready to do a run-throw.

I had a feeling that tonight would be amazing.

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><p>"The judges are ready," the announcer boomed through the microphone. "The drum majors, Amelia Smith and Jay Mayor, is the band ready?" Although I was facing front, I knew that in the silence that followed Jay and Amelia were doing their salute. A loud cheer rose up from the audience, and I knew that they had finished. "Sakom High School, you may enter the field for evaluation!" the announcer called.<p>

Amelia and Jay hurried forward, and a nearby judge helped Amelia up onto the podium, wishing her good luck. Jay hurried over to the side, taking off his helmet and carefully tossing it to the side of the podium. Once they both were in position, Amelia counted us off and we began.

I entered on vibes immediately, listening back to the bass drums somewhere out on the field, occasionally glancing up to Amelia to check that I was still in time.

As Connor began his solo on the trumpet, I turned and ran around the xylophone, heading towards the marimba. I tripped over the leg of the gong stand, but when I tried to regain my footing, I slipped in the wet grass. I heard Anthony gasp slightly behind me, but all I saw was the cymbal attached to the xylophone, heading straight for my head. Something seemed to almost explode in my mind, and darkness overtook my vision instantly. I was gone.

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><p><strong>AN**

So hey, everyone. This is just an idea that was floating around in my head. Face it, how many band geek LOTR FanFics have you read? I know that I haven't seen any! So, I decided to write one! And sorry for all the marching band, but we just had our finals today, so I needed to let this all out :P So yes, please R 'n R to tell me what everyone thinks! Should I keep going, or should I not?

UNDECIDED PAIRINGS! Any ideas? I don't really want to do a Boromir or Aragorn pairing though...and I don't know about Legolas, he's used too much. So please give me input!

(The towns/cities mentioned in this were made up).

By the by, does anyone know whether there are squirrels in M.E.? Just curious xD

~Eva Sirico~


	2. Weird Freaky Dream?

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, The Hobbit, and ****the songs **_**Cooler Than Me, Pirates of the Caribbean, **_**and all others mentioned...**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

The first thought that came to my mind when I woke up was, _I have a headache worthy of Chuck Norris. _The second thought, _Whoa, hey, what's going on here?_

I was lying on the floor of the forest. The trees were really tall, and their leaves blocked out most of the sun, but tendrils of sunlight illuminated spots of the carpeted forest floor. I sat up, brushing leaves out of my hair. _Am I dreaming? _I spotted my recorder and a pair of drumsticks nearby, and I leaped for them, grinning. The drumsticks had been a gift from my friends in the pit and the percussion section for Christmas last year. They had taken different colored sharpies and drew and wrote all over them. My recorder I had been given in elementary school, where we had learned how to use them. However, me being the awesomeness that I am, decided to take it further. For the past five or six years or so I had been learning it off and on.

_Okay, so them I _am _dreaming. Because why else would I be in the middle of some random forest, holding a pair of graffitied drumsticks and a plastic recorder? _Deciding that it was a dream, I sat down under a tree and started playing _Pirates of the Caribbean _on the recorder.

After I had done the second part, I felt something shift behind me, and turned to see an arrow in the face. "Ahhh!" I yelped.

The person holding the bow was a wicked tall guy with long blonde hair. His eyes were narrowed and distrustful. "Who are you?"

"I think the question is, who are _you?_" I yelled, modeling my voice to sound like Mooshu from the movie _Mulan_. I was about to continue with the quote, but the figure cut me off.

"Who I am is none of your concern. Tell me your name now, intruder, before you find an arrow in you." The arrow suddenly seemed closer to my face.

"CARRRLLL, THAT KIIILLLS PEOPLE!" I yelled, but relented at the angry, serious look on his face. "Okay, okay, sheesh, who spit in your bean curd? The name's Sammy. But not Samantha. Sam's okay, though. And by the by, why is my subconscious being so weird? Normally people don't threaten me with arrows in my dreams..."

The man raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?" I could tell he was trying to get a grasp on the whole situation.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm dreaming. Meaning, you're just a figment of my imagination, and I should wake up soon." I grumbled under my breath. "Damn alarm clock...never wants me to be together with my poor bed... I hate the jealousy issues!"

The guy gave me a look as if he definitely decided I was a nutcase. I felt offended. He couldn't tell just by looking at me?

"Milady, you are not dreaming," he said, slowly lowering his bow. "You are on the outskirts of Imladris."

"Im-hooey-whaa? And DENIED! Correction: I AM dreaming. Kay?" I gave him a cute smile and stood up, stretching. I cast him a curious look. "What's your name?"

"I am Glorfindel, milady," he said. He turned to the trees. "You need to see Lord Elrond of Imladris. Please follow me."

I looked up at the sky, or what I could see of it anyways. "So this is one of those weird quest dreams?" I called. I nodded slowly, thinking it over. "Okay. Okay. I'm cool with that. I respect that." I followed Glorfindel into the trees, toward a horse, ignoring the weird looks I was receiving from him, and singing Mike Posner's _Cooler than Me_ under my breath.

~..*..~

I could tell that Glorfindel was getting very annoyed with me. "Glory, glory, hallelujah! Glory, glory, hallelujah! Glory, glory, what's it to ya? If I jump between the sheets with nothing on at all!" I finished my song with a flourish, beaming. I had learned the song at the summer camp that I went to, and Glorfindel's name reminded me of it.

We approached an archway, and I hummed the funeral march under my breath as we passed underneath it. "Milady, would you please stop singing?" Glorfindel asked in exasperation.

"Ousch, I'sh shlain! Look, buddy, just 'cause I ain't no Taylor Swift doesn't mean that I'm gonna stop singing," I growled. "And besides, I got mah drumsticks. Don't mess with me."

He pulled his horse to a stop, and dismounted. He held up a hand to me, but I swung myself of the horse, and fell. To make it seem like I had planned on doing it, I did a ninja move to right myself again on my feet. Glorfindel cast me a strange look. I shot him an imperious one right back. "I'm a ninja," I explained.

He decided to ignore me, and led me up some stone steps and through stone hallways. The place had a look that screamed 'medieval times'. The people that we passed all gave me curious looks, and they seemed to walk with a grace that I had never seen before. They were all very tall and really beautiful. Feeling unnerved, I hurriedly caught up with Glorfindel so I could walk next to him. "Umm...so where are we again?"

Without looking at me, he answered, "Imladris. It is an elf haven, for-"

"Wait!" I interrupted. "Elves? Okay, so I'm having a J.R.R. Tolkien dream. Okay. That's cool. Except, it's getting kinda freaky because everything's becoming pretty real...I have vivid dreams but not this vivid..." I continued to babble on under my breath, nervously looking around.

"Umm..so yeah...Glorfindel, it's been great, it really has. But...goodbye." I pinched my arm as hard as I could and yelled from the pain. "OUCH! FUDGE! THAT HURT!"

"Milady!" Glorfindel growled as several startled elves stopped to stare. "Please refrain from any unnecessary-"

"Why didn't I wake up?" I wailed, ignoring him. "It works in all the movies!"

Glorfindel's face was definitely betraying anger. He grabbed my arm roughly and tugged me through a door. Inside, an elf was sitting at a desk. He looked up, rather startled at the sight of us. "Lord Glorfindel, what is going on here?"

"I found this human wandering around on the outskirts of Imladris. She has been most difficult, believing that this is all a dream," Glorfindel said icily.

"It is!" I wailed. "It has to be! There is no such thing as elves!"

The elf stared thoughtfully at me. "Please leave us, Glorfindel. Thank you for bringing her here. I will try to straighten this out." Glorfindel bowed and left.

The elf looked me over. "Please, take a seat." Nervously, I obeyed. I could think of a few witty remarks, but I chose not to say them. This was becoming a very weird dream...if it even was a dream...

"I am Lord Elrond of Rivendell," he continued.

"Like, from _the Hobbit_?" I asked, amazed. _The Hobbit _was one of my favorite books. I had never read the _Lord of the Rings, _and had only seen the movies once, when I was nine, though. My family had been planning to watch them when they came out on Blu-Ray, but marching band for me and fall sports for my sister got in the way.

Lord Elrond frowned. "_The Hobbit?"_

I nodded. "Yeah, like with Bilbo Baggins and the dwarves! And Gandalf!"

"You know all of these people?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, not personally. But I know the story of how they reclaimed the treasure from Smaug, and of the Battle of the Five Armies! Though, something has always bothered me...Wouldn't it be six armies if you took the Wargs into consideration? Yeah, because it was the men, the elves, the dwarves, the goblins, and the eagles! But the Wargs fought on the goblins' side, so..." I continued to babble on, before Lord Elrond held up a hand.

"Peace, child. So you claim that this is all a story back home?"

I nodded. "Yep. Created by one J.R.R. Tolkien. They're classics."

He considered this. "Where are you from?"

"I live in Maine, in the United States. Ya know, New England states."

Lord Elrond went deep into thought. "You are not from our world...I wonder what the Valar have in store for you, to bring you here to us."

"Whaaaa? What's the Valar?" I asked, confused.

"The Valar are our Gods, you could say." He looked at me closely, then sighed. "Child-"

"Sammy."

"...Lady Sammy," I rolled my eyes at this, "I believe that it would be easier on everyone if you realized right now that this is not a dream."

A cold hand clutched my heart. "No...It has to be a dream. Elves don't exist. Rivendell doesn't exist. This has to be a dream!"

"What was the last thing you remember?"

I thought hard. "I don't know..." I said slowly. I remembered my life, yes. But did I fall asleep at home? Or-

An image of marching band popped into my head. "OH MY GOD!" I yelled. "FINALS! I was at marching band finals, and I tripped and fell during the show! I was going to splice open my head on the cymbal! Oh, shit, you have got to be kidding me! Right now, I'm probably in a freakin' coma, and this is all a wicked weird, freaky dream I'm having! STUPID HALSBURG PEOPLE! YOU STUCK-UP, PRETENTIOUS PREPPIES! THIS IS PROBABLY YOUR DOING!" I yelled. Halsburg was Sakom's rival in marching band.

Lord Elrond was clearly lost. "You fell? And hit your head?"

I nodded vigorously. "Yes! And I'm probably in a coma! Or something..."

"What is a coma?"

"It's like this...It's umm..." I struggled with the definition. I gave up and put my head in my hands. "Gahh! I hate it when you know what a word means but when told to describe it, you can't!" My head shot up triumphantly. "Oh, yeah! It means when you suffer internal damage, like to your brain, and you kinda go to sleep. There have been comas that last for years..." I trailed off. I swallowed, trying to be brave. "Well, what happens now?"

Lord Elrond stood up. "Now, you will stay in Rivendell, until I can figure out what exactly the Valar want from you. I will have someone escort you to your room." He left the room briefly, speaking in a language I didn't understand. He came back inside with another elf. "This is Naiya. She will show you around Imladris and to your room. She will always show you how life is here in Imladris."

I held up my hand. "I'm guessing that Imladris and Rivendell is the same thing?"

Lord Elrond nodded. "That is correct. Imladris is its name in elvish."

I did a fist pump. "Win!"

"Come now, child. Naiya will take you to your room." I hopped off my chair, grumbling under my breath about being called 'child'. I followed Naiya out of the room, feeling exhaustion and uncertainty filter its way into my body.

_Well as they say, I'll take whatever tomorrow brings. And it had better be peanut butter, _I thought with determination.

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><p><strong>AN**

Second chapter is out! Thank you to my two reviewers! As for pairings, my friend is strongly urging me to go for an Eomer pairing, though I'm not sure yet. As for Faramir, he'd be interesting, but I've always strongly believed that Eowyn and Faramir belong together. And I'd rather stick to the good guys in pairings :)

Sooo yes, please review :)

~Eva Sirico~


	3. Goodbye, Dearest Pocky

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, Joe Hisaishi, or OHSHC and Harry Potter references**

~Chapter 3~

The world crashed down around me. My heart pounded loudly in my ears, and my mouth was dry. I was frozen with complete shock.

No...It couldn't be...

This couldn't be happening!

They didn't have chocolate in Middle Earth!

"NOOOOOOO!" I wailed.

Naiya's eyes widened. "My lady, please-"

"CHOCOLATE! HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT YOU?" I sobbed. Then my head snapped up, with a fierce look on my face. "Please tell me that you have pocky."

"'Pocky', my lady? What is that?"

I stared at her for one second. Then two. Then I collapsed to the ground, sobbing miserably. "Pocky...I love you...don't leave me..."

"Is pocky your mate?" she asked, trying to make sense of the situation.

"No! Pocky is a delicious food that's a long stick of some cracker thing with chocolate! It is possibly the best and most delicious thing that I have ever tasted in my life! And...you...don't...have...it..." I put my head on top of my knees, pouting.

Naiya spread her hands helplessly. "I am sorry, my lady."

I shook my hand at, my cheerful demeanor back. "Nah, it's nothin'. I don't need it right now." I took out my recorder and started playing the Lord of the Rings theme.

"What is that?" Naiya asked curiously, wincing as the recorder squeaked.

"It's a musical instrument in my world. It's called a recorder. They're really common, and everyone in the whole U.S. of A. knows the basics of how to play one, but no one has ever really bothered to learn past of what they teach you in elementary school," I explained. I could tell that Naiya didn't really understand most of what I said, but she chose not to say anything.

I switched to the Return of the King, but paused. "CRAP! What's the fingering for A flat?"

Naiya decided not to comment. I was trying random fingerings, seeing which one sounded right, but none of them worked. "CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP! CURSE THIS INTERNET-FREE WORLD!" When I didn't know a note, I usually looked it up online. Only, guess what? Yep, you guessed it. Middle Earth wasn't exactly a great place to get free Wi-Fi, hell they didn't even have computers!

Amazingly, I stumbled across the correct combination. I quickly filed that information away in my mind, and continued happily playing the Return of the King theme song.

"What song is that, my lady?" Naiya asked curiously.

"The Return of the King theme song. Although I don't really remember the movies, I absolutely love the music in it!" I changed the song to a Joe Hisaishi song. "Joe Hisaishi, if you listening, you are my HERO!"

Before Naiya could ask who Joe Hisaishi was, the sound of hooves came thundering into the courtyard. A beautiful elf was on a horse, which was coated with sweat. The elf's eyes were wide, and she clutched a bundle to her on the horse. With a start, I realized that it had curly black hair and pointed ears.

Elves quickly took the bundle, racing it inside. I could see that it was a small child. Others helped the elf off the horse, and leading the horse away. "What just happened?" I asked, confused.

"Arwen Undomiel has brought a gravely injured hobbit," Naiya murmured, watching the scene.

My mind flashed to dim memories of the movies. "...Frodo?" I guessed.

Naiya's eyes flashed to my face. "Excuse me?"

"The hobbit's name is Frodo...and that means..." My eyes widened, and I sprinted away through the halls. I heard Naiya calling to me, but I didn't listen. Not really paying attention to where I was going, I crashed into someone, and fell to the floor with a gasp.

I looked up to see an old man in a grey cloak, leaning on a staff. His blue eyes were widened with surprise and mirth, and he chuckled. "What have we here?"

"Gandalf?" I asked, my eyes widening.

Gandalf the Grey looked me over. "You are a human child. The one from the other world, perhaps?"

"Yes, but they just brought Frodo in! And I remembered something; he has the ring! That evil ring-thing..." I trailed off as Gandalf stiffened. He leaned in and hissed under his breath.

"Do not speak lightly of things. If you by any chance remember anything that has to do with the future, do not interfere. The results would be devastating." He straightened up again. "How is Frodo? Where did they take him?"

I swallowed. "He looked kinda...dead-ish? Or severly hurt..."

Gandalf's fond expression dropped, and without a word he turned and strode through the halls purposefully. I was left standing there. "Was it something I said?"

"No. Mithrandir simply has not had a good time of late," a voice from behind me said. i looked to see a tall, broad elf with long dark hair.

"Hiya! I'm Sammy," I introduced myself. Another elf who looked _exactly__ the __same _walked up to us. "Whoa, hey, are you guys twins?"

They nodded. "I am Elrohir," the first elf said.

"I am Elladan," the newly-arrived one added. "We are of Elrond."

"Soooo are you guys like the Hitachiins? Or like the Weasley twins?" I asked.

Elrohir gave me a puzzled look. "I do not know of whom you speak."

"They're really mischievious and they do everything together. They're also really funny and happy...Though the Hitachiins have some angst...And then Fred died..." I rolled my eyes, grumbling about J. K. Rowling under my breath.

The elves' eyes hardened. "No. We are not like them." They both turned and walked away, with me staring after them.

"What, am I just unavoidable today?"

A new voice spoke up. "No. They have been like that since their mother was tortured by orcs." I turned around to see Glorfindel.

"What? Are you going to storm off too, and some other person come up and give me an explanation about why you stormed off?" I asked sarcastically, in exasperation.

Glorfindel quirked a brow. "Not if you wish it, my lady."

"_Sammy__. _Not my lady, _Sammy__." _

"Very well...Lady Sammy."

I threw up my hands. "You are all just impossible!" I started to storm away, but stopped and looked out the window, gaping.

Glorfindel looked concerned. "What is it, my lady?"

With a shaking finger, I pointed outside. "SQUIRREL!" With that, I ran towards the door to the outside to go chase the squirrel, leaving Glorfindel looking very confused at my sudden departure.

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><p><strong>AN**

Third chapter! Yeah, I remember reading somewhere that Elladan and Elrohir were really torn up about what happened to Celebrian, so they weren't all Fred and George-like...though I wish they were...

So next chapter Sammy will start meeting all of the Fellowship. I wasn't very smart, or not thinking, when I wrote the first chapter, because I named her Sammy, when there's already Samwise Gamgee... All well.

Also, it's been confirmed. This is now an EomerxOC fic! With Haldir friendship!

Please review!

~Eva Sirico~


	4. Of Minions and Meetings

**Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR or the song Elf's Lament by the Bare-Naked Ladies**

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><p>~Chapter 4~<p>

_Two seven-year-old kids ran across the beach, holding hands. Their features were identical in every way, except that one was a boy and the other was a girl. They ran to a tall bearded man dressed in a plaid shirt and ripped jeans. "Daddy!" the girl screamed, launching herself into his arms. The boy stood by his legs, beaming up at the man._

_ A woman, carrying a five-year-old girl, caught up with them. The man and woman regarded each other warily. "Dan," the woman tightly acknowledged, setting down the younger girl._

_ "Emily," Dan murmured back, also setting down the seven-year-old twin girl. The kids watched in silence._

_ "I'd like them home by eight at the latest. Sammy and Alan have school tomorrow, and Lela shouldn't go to bed late," Emily said. The tense atmosphere was tangible to the young children._

_ "Alright, Emily," Dan said softly, still watching her._

_ Emily nervously nodded to him, before leaning down and hugging the five-year-old, then the twins. "Be good, kids. Do everything that Daddy tells you, okay?"_

_ "'Kay, Mommy," the twin boy said, speaking for all of them._

_ They all watched her as she walked up the beach to the steps that would lead her to the car._

_ The twin girl looked up at her father. "Why did you and Mommy have to get a divorce?"_

_ Dan watched Emily walk away. "I don't know, Sammy," he said sadly._

~..*..~

"I...MAKE...TOYS BUT I'VE GOT ASPIRATIONS! MAKE...SOME...NOISE USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS! GIRLS...AND...BOYS BEFORE YOU WISH FOR WHAT YOU WISH FOR, THERE'S A LIST FOR, WHO'S BEEN NAUGHTY AND NICE BUT CONSIDER THE PRICE TO AN ELF!" I sang at the top of my lungs.

My new partners-in-crime, Merry and Pippin, looked up at me. "I've never heard that song before," Pippin said. "What's it about?"

"Angry elves rebelling against Santa Claus!" I replied cheerfully, drumming away with my drumsticks.

"Santa Claus?" Merry asked in confusion. He looked questioningly at Pippin, who shrugged.

I spent the next five minutes entertaining Merry and Pippin with tales of Santa Claus, and soon their faces were alight with amazement and longing. "I wish we had Santa Claus here!" Merry exclaimed.

"Think of all the pipeweed!" Pippin added.

I burst out laughing. "HUGS NOT DRUGS!" I yelled, attacking Pippin with a hug.

"Merry? Pippin?" a voice called. I looked up to see a tall, lean man with chin-length black hair and a matching beard standing there. He looked confused at the sight of me.

"HI! I'm Sammy, I play percussion, and I chase turkeys and squirrels in my free time!" I said enthusiastically dropping Pippin and going forward and shaking his hand exaggeratedly. I burst out in laughter at the expression on his face. "I had to try that out to see the look on your face! Priceless!" I chortled.

"She's a human, and she's absolutely crazy," Merry volunteered.

"Proud of it." I sat down.

The man regarded me. "I am Strider." He turned to the hobbits. "Frodo is awake."

They jumped up, and ran out the place, cheering wildly. I looked at Strider. "You know that my dog's name is Strider, right? Golden retriever. He's my baby." I smiled fondly at the thought of him.

Strider raised an eyebrow. "That is a strange coincidence, milady."

"GAHHH WHAT IS WITH YOU FORMAL PEOPLE? The name is _Sammy. _Not milady, not Lady Sammy, just Sammy!"

Strider blinked. "Very well, Sammy," he said, choosing his words carefully.

I nodded cheerfully at him. "I can tell we'll get along famously," I said in a British accent.

Strider gave a slow nod and started to walk away. "I have some business to attend to. It was a pleasure to meet you la- _Sammy._"

I waved goodbye, and continued drumming, and talking in drum speech. "Ba-da-dum, digga digga gazzzzut gazzzut," I muttered, following along with my drumsticks.

"Lady Sammy?" Naiya called.

"SAMMY."

"...Sammy, Lord Elrond is calling for you."

I stuck my drumsticks in my back pocket and grabbed my recorder. "Let's go fly a kite then!"

"A...kite, Sammy?"

"...Let's go see him!"

Lord Elrond was sitting at his desk looking through a very old book when I walked in. He looked up and motioned to a seat in front of his desk. "Sit down, Lady Sammy."

"Sammy. Please."

Lord Elrond chose to ignore that, to my great annoyance. "I do not know about how much you know of what is to unfold-" he held up a hand to silence me before I could say anything, "-but do not speak of it. By telling us what is going to happen, you could ultimately change the future. I forbid you to speak of any knowledge that you have." His gaze held mine before I dropped my eyes. "Now, there is a council later today that I want you to attend. It is to decide the fate of the One Ring. According to Gandalf, you know what that is, correct?"

I shook my head. "All I remember is that it's evil and you have to-"

"Lady Sammy."

"...Sorry. Yeah, I just remember that it's evil."

He gave a slow nod, and began telling me about the history of the ring. "Now, that ring is in Frodo Baggin's possession," he concluded

"Wow! Dude, they should make movies out of that! It'd be epic!" I said excitedly, then stopped. "Oh..wait..." I face-palmed. "This doesn't leave the two of us...I don't need to be told that I fail at life...epically..."

Lord Elrond chose to ignore me (not for the first time). "You shall join this council and see why the Valar have brought you to us."

"Okie-dokie, then. Whatcha got for junk food?"

"Junk...food?"

"Yeah, like stuff that tastes ridiculously good but is so bad for you. Like pocky." I sighed at the thought of my favorite that exists.

Lord Elrond had that familiar I-don't-know-what-the-hell-you're-talking-about-but-I'll- humor-you look on his face. "If you are hungry then feel free to ask Naiya to escort you to the kitchens."

"Coolio. Later, then!" I waved and started to leave but Elrond called my name, and I looked back at him.

"Please ask Naiya to find you more suitable clothes," he said, eyeing my red T-shirt and jeans. The shirt said, MARIMBA PLAYER BY DAY, DEADLY NINJA BY NIGHT. It had been a gift from my friend Sarah, a fellow drummer (the only other girl percussionist).

"What's wrong with this?" I asked indignantly.

"It's not suitable." Lord Elrond's voice held no room for argument so I reluctantly slunk out of the room to go find Naiya.

* * *

><p>AN

Fourth chapter! Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/story-alerted it!

I seriously do actually have a golden retriever called Strider (see my pic!) And I seriously do have that shirt! Though, it can get annoying when I wear it in public, and everyone's like, what's a marimba? Then I spend like 10 minutes explaining it... -.-

Council in next chapter! Boo ya! Until next time~

~Eva Sirico~


	5. Council of Argumentative Peeps

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the song Everytime we Touch, The Hobbit, the Imperial March, Pirates of the Caribbean, ****Mulan,** **Adventure Time, Llamas with Hats. Phew, long disclaimer!**

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><p>~Chapter 5~<p>

Dressed in breeches and a clean shirt (I had absolutely REFUSED a dress), I skipped along the corridors, my drumsticks in my back pocket, and my recorder in hand. My hair was up in a ponytail and swinging from side to side as I skipped.

"'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling. And everytime we kiss I swear I can fly! Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last! Need you by my side!" I sang as I skipped.

"Lady Sammy? You'll be late for council," Glorfindel called, striding up to me.

I stopped and glared at him. "SAMMY."

He sighed. "Sammy."

I beamed at him. "'Kay, let's go!" I started skipping off again, but Glorfindel called me back.

"It's the other way, Sammy."

I turned around and skipped down the way he was pointing, still singing under my breath. Glorfindel shook his head and followed me.

We arrived at a small courtyard, with chairs arranged in a circle, and a pedestal in the middle. Lord Elrond sat in a throne in front of the pedestal. As I cheerfully skipped in with Glorfindel, eyes turned to me in disbelief.

"A woman in the council?" a man with reddish hair asked in scorn.

"Go to hell, you sexist pig!" I snapped back. Shocked whispers echoed throughout everyone, and the man's face flushed with anger. Lord Elrond fixed me with a hard look, and then quelled the man's anger with his stare.

I sat down in a seat next to what looked like dwarves. I turned to them with a beaming smile. "Hi! I'm Sammy!"

The dwarf sitting next to me looked rather surprised for a second, before nodding gruffly. "Gimli, son of Gloin."

I gasped. "Oh my gatos! Is Gloin here?"

The old dwarf on the other side looked shocked at being addressed so. I beamed at him. "I've heard all about your adventure with Smaug the Dragon, and about how you had to recapture the gold and dragged Bil-"

"Sammy," Glorfindel murmured on my other side. I looked up at him, and he motioned to Lord Elrond, who was ready to begin.

Elrond fixed everyone of us with his piercing stare. "Strangers of distant lands, friends of old... You are summoned here today to answer the threat of Mordor." I hummed the funeral march softly under my breath. "Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite, or you will fall.

"Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom." Elrond turned his gaze to a hobbit who had curly black hair and large blue eyes. "Bring forth the ring, Frodo."

Frodo timidly stood up and walked over to the pedestal, hesitantly placing a golden ring on it. I started singing the Imperial March softly while everyone around me gasped and murmured to others.

The sexist man stood up. "In a dream, I saw the eastern sky grow dark, but in the West a pale light lingered. A voice was crying, 'Your doom is near at hand. Isildur's bane is found'." He stretched out a hand towards the ring, his voice dropping down to a whisper. "Isildur's bane..."

"Boromir!" Lord Elrond shouted, at the same time that Gandalf stood up and started shouting something in a different language. The sky grew dark and thunder pierced the air. Boromir stumbled back to his seat, while beside me Gimli and yelled and grabbed his axe.

Gandalf finished chanting, and the wind died down, and the sunlight returned. Lord Elrond glared at Gandalf. "Never before has any voice uttered the words of that tongue here in Imladris."

Gandalf bowed his head, breathing hard. "I do not ask your pardon, Master Elrond, for the black speech of Mordor may yet be heard in every corner of the West!" He turned to face all of us. "The ring is all together evil." He turned back towards his seat.

"There. Case closed," I muttered in satisfaction, then rolled my eyes as Boromir stood up. "On second thought..."

"It is a gift," Boromir murmured. Gandalf froze and slowly turned to face him. "A gift to the foes of Mordor! Why not use this ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe." Boromir was really getting caught up in his speech. "Give Gondor the ring! Let us use it against him!"

"Dude, didja get the memo?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's kinda sorta evil, and that won't work. I don't think you want Gandalf getting mad at you again. It was kinda scary the last time..."

Boromir glared at me. "You know nothing of these matters," he sneered.

I held up his hands. "Hey, don't go crying when everyone starts getting pissy at you..."

Boromir ignored me and turned back to the rest of the council. "We are able to wield it! We can use it to save Middle-Earth from Sauron!"

Strider shifted in his seat. "You cannot wield it! None of us can."

"Damn, you got toooold," I muttered under my breath, smirking as Boromir turned slowly to face Strider.

"The one ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master," Strider continued, more softly.

"And what would a ranger know of these matters?" Boromir sneered.

An elf stood up. "Whoa, hey, he looks like Orlando Bloom!" I murmured under my breath, raising an eyebrow.

The Orlando-transformed-elf fixed his gaze on Boromir. "This is no mere ranger! This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."

"Whoa, wait! I thought your name was Strider!" I said, confused.

"It is his ranger name," Glorfindel murmured quietly to me.

I nodded. "Ah. Gotcha." I frowned. "I think."

Ignoring me, Boromir turned to Aragorn in incredulity. "Aragorn?" He swallowed, looking back at Will-Turner-look-alike-except-with-blonde-hair-and-pointed-ears. "This is Isildur's heir?"

"And heir to the throne of Gondor," the elf added, staring at Boromir.

Aragorn held up a hand. "Havo dad, Legolas."

I leaned over to Glorfindel. "So is his name Havo, Dad, or Legolas?"

A corner of his mouth twitched. "Legolas. He is the Prince of Mirkwood."

I raised an eyebrow. "Wow, sweetness." I frowned. "Then why wasn't he in _the__ Hobbit_?"

Boromir gave everyone a disdainful glance. "Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king." He turned and sat back down in his seat.

"Gondor has no pride. Gondor needs no pride," I muttered under my breath. Gimli snorted next to me.

"Aragorn is right. We cannot use it," Gandalf said, bringing things back to the matter at hand.

Lord Elrond stood up. "You have only one choice. The ring must be destroyed."

Gimli glared at the ring. "What are waiting for?" He jumped up, grabbing his axe, and rushed the ring, yelling all the way. He was thrown back, and I automatically ducked. It was a good thing I did because a piece of the axe lodged itself in the chair where my head had just previously been.

"YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?" I yelled, as a couple dwarves helped Gimli up. "You're lucky I'mma ninja!" Glorfindel pulled out the axe shard, disdainfully throwing it on the ground. I muttered my thanks, leaning back once again.

"The ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli son of Gloin," Lord Elrond said, seemingly a little bit amused, "by any craft that we here possess. The ring was made by the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade." Lord Elrond cast his gaze around the council. "It must be taken deep into Mordor-"

"That's what she said," I muttered, chortling under my breath.

"-and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came." He stopped for a second.

"Pause for dramatic effect," I muttered, smirking.

"One of you must do this," Lord Elrond concluded.

Complete silence from the council. "Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp," I whispered under my breath, imitating a cricket.

"One does not simply walk into Mordor," Boromir said through gritted teeth, raising his head from his hand. "It's black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. The great eye is ever watchful." Boromir shook his head slightly, an incredulous smile on his face. "It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire, ash, and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with 10,000 men could you do this. It is folly!"

Hot-headed Lego-man jumped to his feet again. "Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The ring must be destroyed!"

"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it!" Gimli snapped at him.

"And if we fail, what then?" Boromir cried, rising to his feet. "What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?"

Gimli leaped to his feet. "I will die before I see the ring in the hands of an elf!"

Everyone immediately jumped to their feet, yelling and arguing. Frodo and I were the only ones who remained sitting. Sighing, I took my drumsticks out and tapped them absentmindedly against my thigh.

"I will take it!" a small voice cried out. I looked up in surprise to see Frodo rise to his feet and start walking over. I glanced at the rest of the council members, but they were too busy arguing to pay heed to Frodo.

"SQUIRREL!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Everyone halted slowly and turned to look at me. I shrugged. "Ya know, seems ta me that if you would like my professional opinion, then I would say that y'all are a bunch of stupid-heads for arguing." Bringing back the rest of my unsaid Mulan quote, I yelled, "We're in a war here, man! There's no time here for stupid questions! I should have your hat for that!" I sniffed and waved my hand nonchalantly at Frodo. "By the by, I think he wanted to say something."

Frodo shot me a grateful glance before looking back at the council. "I will take the ring to Mordor." He hesitated. "Though, I do not know the way."

Gandalf stepped forward, sending him a fond smile. "I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear." He clasped his shoulder, smiling gently at him.

Strider stood - nope scratch that. _Aragorn _stood up and walked over to Frodo. "By my life or death I can protect you, I will." He knelt in front of Frodo. "You have my sword."

"And you have my bow," Legolas said, stepping forward.

Not wanting to be outdone, Gimli walked forward as well. "And my axe!"

Boromir slowly stepped forward. "You carry the fate of us all, little one," he said. "If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done."

I bounded forward. "Shweet! I'm joining this thing! AAADVENTURE TIME!" I yelled, quoting Finn.

"A woman?" Boromir snapped in disbelief. "We have not the time to protect a woman on this journey! She will be a burden to us."

I gave him a humoring smile, nodding slowly. I stepped forward to him, and brought my drumsticks up. "HIII-CHA!" I yelled, and hit him wicked hard with them.

He yelled and jumped backwards. "GO DIE IN A HOLE YOU SEXIST PIG, OR I WILL STAB YOU 37 TIMES IN THE CHEST AND EAT YOUR HANDS AFTERWARD!" I yelled at him.

Lord Elrond glared at the two of us. "Lady Sammy has been sent by the Valar, and it is my belief that she needs to go on this journey."

I jerked my head him. "Pwned."

"OI!" a voice yelled, and a hobbit, a little on the heavy side, came bursting through into the council. He ran forward to Frodo's side. "Mr. Frodo's not goin' anywhere without me!"

"No, indeed it is hardly possible to separate you even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not," Lord Elrond said, smiling a little.

"Oi!" Merry's voice rang out. Lord Elrond's head whipped around to see Merry and Pippin rush into the council. I burst out laughing at the bewildered what-the-truck expression that he had on his face. "You're going to have to send us home in a sack to stop us!" Merry added, both of them coming to a halt next to Frodo.

"Anyway," Pippin piped up, "you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission. Quest. Thing."

"Fail," I muttered, grinning.

"Well, that rules you out, Pip," Merry said, smirking.

"OOOHH! You just got TOOOLD!" I laughed.

"10 companions," Elrond mused, looking us over. "So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."

"Great," Pippin said, grinning, then paused. "Where are we going?"

I laughed. "I think I'm gonna like this trip."

* * *

><p>AN

Hey everybodies! Woohoo~, I updated!

Every time my band director wants to get our attention, he'll yell, "SQUIRREL!" And then we'll all yell "SQUIRREL!" back. At the end of the marching band year this year, we got all of the staff these cool T-shirts that said Squirrel! with a picture of a squirrel on them...

Okayyy, I digress. Pleeease review! Free ninja turtles if you review! :D

~Eva Sirico~


	6. Gondor Needs No Squirrels

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the baseball-theme-song-charge-thing, Swing Life Away by Rise Against, Fate of Awakening Love from Inuyasha, and Alfred Hitchcock _The Birds_**

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><p>~Chapter 6~<p>

Humming, I skipped through the empty gardens. I had met my idol Bilbo Baggins less than an hour before, and I was confident that he would survive from the near-heart-attack I almost gave him. I was sure he'd never had to deal with someone like me before...

The Fellowship was leaving in a half an hour. I was already packed (I could pack in two seconds. Thank you, marching band competitions!) and ready to go, but I wanted to say goodbye to someone.

I saw a tall tree, and momentarily distracted, I stopped to look at it. Suddenly, a flash of brown fur caught my attention. "SQUIRREL!" I screamed, leaping towards the tree and climbing it, tucking my recorder into my boot. My drumsticks were safely in my back pocket.

"Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, SQUIIIRRREELL!" I half screamed/chanted to the baseball thing. You know, the bam-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam DUN-DA-DUN! CHARGE~! That sort of thing.

I was about twelve feet off the ground when the squirrel leapt into a neighboring tree. I surveyed the tree. The branches were too thin for me to climb onto. Even though I was crazy, I wasn't _that _crazy.

Or was I?

I started to make my way towards the tree, but my foot slipped. I started sliding off the tree. "NOT AGAIN!" I screamed as I fell to the ground.

I landed on something soft. I heard a voice grunt underneath me. I scrambled off to see Glorfindel on the ground, looking disheveled. "Oh my gatos!" I gulped. He looked pissed. "So sorry, Glorfindel, eheheh NOT MY FAULT THAT I'M SUPAH CLUMSY!" I purposely accented my already-thick Maine accent.

Glorfindel stood up with as much dignity as he could muster. "The Fellowship was searching for you, Sammy."

"Huh. Must have lost track of time," I mused. I then gasped and checked my back pocket. "NOBODY. MOVE. WHERE. ARE. MY. DRUMSTICKS." I glared fiercely around, settling my gaze on Glorfindel. "WHERE ARE THEY?"

Glorfindel cast his gaze around, before resting them on the ground. He leaned down and picked up my drumsticks. "Now, come along. It is time for you to depart."

Happily reunited with my drumsticks, I skipped along next to Glorfindel, singing _Swing __Life __Away_ by Rise Against. We arrived at the courtyard to find the Fellowship already lined up and waiting. Naiya came forward and handed me my bag, smiling gently at me. I gave her a hug. "Thanks for putting up with me and my insanity!"

She gave a tinkling laugh. "It was not a problem, Sammy."

I smiled at Lord Elrond and started to head over to the Fellowship. Boromir surveyed me. "What took you so long?"

I shrugged. "I was chasing a squirrel." I ignored Boromir's what-the-truck expression, and Merry and Pippin's sniggers, as I whirled around and attacked Glorfindel with a large hug. His eyebrows arched in surprise, and a bewildered expression stole over his face. He hesitantly patted my back. "Don't you forget about me," I scolded him, giving him a smile.

He gave a wry chuckle. "I highly doubt that I could forgot you, Lady Sammy."

I glared at him. "Sammy. Just Sammy." I gave him a smile. "And I will take that as a compliment, whether it was meant for one or not!" I turned to stand next to the Fellowship, facing Elrond.

Elrond surveyed us. "The Ringbearer is setting out on this quest to Mount Doom, and you who travel with him..." He looked at each of us. "No oath nor bond is laid upon you to travel further than you will." I noticed out of the corner of my eye, Aragorn looking at Arwen, who dropped her head. I smirked. _Oh__, __something__'__s__ goin__' __on __here__!_

"Farewell," Elrond continued. "Hold to your purpose, and may the blessings of elves, men, and all Free Folk go with you." He looked at Legolas, Boromir, and Gimli in turn.

Gandalf turned to Frodo. "The Fellowship awaits the Ringbearer."

Frodo was nervously looking around as he walked underneath the arches. "Mordor, Gandalf," I heard him whisper. "Is it left or right?"

"Left," Gandalf whispered back, a hint of mirth in his voice. I giggled quietly as I walked underneath the arches, pausing for a last look at Rivendell. Was it only a couple days ago that I was at marching band? It seemed so long ago...

I turned back with the Fellowship, walking solemnly along while Rivendell faded in the background. It didn't last long, though.

"SQUIRREL!"

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><p>"Gondor has no squirrels. Gondor needs no squirrels. Gondor has no turtles. Gondor needs no turtles. Gondor has no fire hydrants. Gondor needs no fire hydrants. Gondor has no pumpkins. Gondor needs no-"<p>

"ENOUGH!" Boromir roared at me.

I gave him a sweet smile. "Okay!" There was silence for a moment. "One does not simply bicycle into Mordor. One does not simply sky-dive into Mordor. One does not simply helicopter into Mordor. One does not simply cliff-jump into-"

Boromir appeared in front of me, glaring fiercely. "If you are not silent, then your journey shall be a short one," he hissed. He turned away from me, and instantly I took out my recorder, wrapping my hand around the throat, just underneath the mouthpiece, effectively cutting off the wind exiting. I blew really hard into it, which resulted in a piercing, high-pitched whistle - directed at Boromir's ear.

He yelled, rubbing his ear. Legolas had winced heavily, and Aragorn jumped a mile. The rest all showed similar expressions of surprise and shock. I nonchalantly began playing _Fate__ of__ Awakening __Love _from Inuyasha on my recorder. Seeing everyone staring at me (glaring in Boromir's case), I explained innocently, "Terribly sorry. I blew too hard. Happens sometimes." I jolted a little. "OH MY GATOS THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" I burst out laughing.

Everyone turned away from me, deciding to pay no heed to my craziness. I felt a little jolt of homesickness, at the thought that one of my friends would have said that. To get rid of my feelings, I walked alongside Merry and Pippin, chatting and laughing with them, and planning another attack on Boromir.

Deciding to take a rest, we stopped and Sam got a fire going. It was a couple days since we had set out from Rivendell, and I was so _bored__. _I didn't mind the physical stuff, because I was used to it in marching band. Even though I played pit and didn't march.

Sam was tending to a fire, cooking sausages. "Ooooh, can I have one?" I asked excitedly, scarcely paying heed to Gimli and Gandalf talking in the background. Something about going through the Mines of Morry... All well.

Sam handed me a small sausage before going over next to Frodo with the plate. "Traitor," I muttered, and followed him, determined to get sausages.

Merry and Pippin were practicing sparring with Boromir, while Aragorn puffed on his pipe nearby. Legolas was keeping watch. Absentmindedly stealing another sausage, I dodged a light, scolding blow from Sam and watched the training.

"Good, very good," Boromir panted, as Pippin blocked his sword.

"Move your feet," Aragorn encouraged.

"Lookin' shaaaaap," I called, emphasizing my Maine accent. Even though I already had a Maine accent, me and my band geek buddies still over-exaggerated it sometimes.

Pippin cast me a grin over his shoulder. "Thanks, Sammy!" The three of us watched ("Don't touch those sausages! They're for Mr. Frodo!") as Merry joined the fray in the battle against the evil Boromir-creature. Behind us, Gimli kept droning on about Morry's Mines. _I__ wonder __who__ Morry __is__, _I thought idly.

Boromir's sword suddenly slipped, cutting Pippin's hand. Pippin dropped his sword with a gasp, clutching his hand. I immediately jumped up in alarm. "Sorry!" Boromir said, stepping forward to check his wound.

Pippin kicked Boromir in the leg. "GET HIM!" he yelled as he and Merry tackled Boromir to the ground. I collapsed, laughing hysterically. "For the Shire! Hold him, hold him, Merry!" Pippin yelled, while Boromir laughed.

Aragorn, being a party-pooper, stood up and walked towards the hobbits. "Alright, gentlemen, that's enough," he called. Merry and Pippin immediately turned around and grabbed his legs, forcing Aragorn to fall to the ground.

"INVASION OF THE HOBBITS!" I screamed, laughing.

Sam stood up next to me. "What is that?" I looked to see a dark-looking cloud...heading our way?

"Nothing, just a wisp of cloud," Gimli said dismissively.

"It's moving fast...and against the wind..." Boromir said slowly, from where he was standing up.

"Crebain! From Dunland!" Legolas yelled, jumping off of the rock.

"Hide!" Aragorn cried, grabbing his sword. The Fellowship was in a flurry of activity, dousing the fire, hiding the bags and suchlike. I was standing in the middle of them, feeling very confused.

Aragorn grabbed my arm and forced me under a rock with him. I was about to yell but he put a hand over my mouth. Not a moment later, fearsome caws ripped through the air, and explosions of black feathers tore past, heinous, throaty calls emitting from their throats. My eyes widened, and I pressed myself against the rock.

They flew away, and all was silent for a moment. Finally we all emerged from our hiding places. I was shaking all over. "WHAT WERE THOSE? We have bajillions of crows in Maine, but none of them go all Alfred Hitchcock on you!"

"Spies of Saruman," Gandalf explained. "The passage south is being watched. We must take the pass of Caradhras." We all looked up to see an imposing mountain, buried in snow.

I smirked. "Bring it."

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><p>AN

Sixth chapter! Sorry it's rather short, but I wanted to get it out, because I didn't know whether or not I'd be able to update before Thanksgiving! HAPPY EARLY TURKEY DAY! :D

Last year for Thanksgiving, I was over at my aunt's house. Since there wasn't enough room at the table for us cousins, we sat on beanbags with our dinners in our laps playing MarioKart...Best. Thanksgiving. Ever. What are all of you doing for Thanksgiving? :)

Review pleeeeease!

* * *

><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

You are way too protective of your cubby.


	7. Snowball Fight? I Think So

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the Hobbit, Everytime we Touch by Cascada, Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5, My Neighbor Totoro, Elf**

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><p>~Chapter 7~<p>

_"__I __still __hear __your __voice __when __you__ sleep __next __to __me__... __I __still __feel __your __touch __in __my __dreams__... __Forgive__ me __my __weakness __but __I __don__'__t __know__ why__... __Without __you __it's __hard __to __sur__-" __I __was __cut __off __with __an __OOMPH__! _

_ "__Hahaha__! __Got__ you__!" __my __twin __brother __cackled__._

_ "__ALAN__!" __I__ yelled__, __slamming my hands __down __on __the __piano __keys__. "__GO __DIE __IN __A __HOLE__!"_

_ "__I __will__..." __Alan__ paused__, __then __grinned__. "__Eventually__!"_

_ "__Fail__," __I__ sniffed__, __and __turned __my __attention __back __to __the __piano__._

_ "__We__'__re__ leaving __for __Dad__'__s __soon__," __Alan __said__, __leaning __over __my__ shoulder __to __examine __my __sheet __music__. "__Ton__-__erri __no __Tot__-__oro__?" __he __asked__, __stumbling __over __the __pronunciation__._

_ "__It__'__s__ Toneri __no__ Totoro__, __actually__. __It__'__s __Japanese__ for__ '__My __Neighbor __Totoro__', __which__ is __one __of __the __BEST__ and __most __CUTEST__ films __of __all __time__!" __I__ corrected__, __grinning__._

_ "__You__'__re __in__, __what__? 10__th __grade__, __and __you__'__re __still __obsessed __with __movies __for__ 5-__year__-__olds__," __Alan __grinned__._

_I __grabbed__ my __drumsticks __from __the __top__ of__ the __piano __and __raced __around__, __trying__ to __catch __him __to __deliver __payback__. _

_ "__What__'__s__ all __the __noise__?" __Lela __called __from __the __living __room__. __She __was __a __total __social __butterfly__, __obsessed __with __guys__, __makeup__, __and __gossip__. __Alan __and __I __were __continually __surprised__ about __the __fact __that __we __were __related __to __her__. __We__ had __nothing __in __common __at __all__._

_ "__Our __brother __just __offended __me__!" __I __yelled__ back__. _

_ "__There __wasn__'__t __much __to__ offend __in __the __first __place__!" __Alan __laughed__._

_ "__DIE __IN __A __HOLE__, __YOU __TROLL__!"_

_ "__SAMMY__! __ALAN__!" __our __mom __yelled__. "__SETTLE__ DOWN__!" __I __paused __in __the __chase__, __lowering __my __drumsticks __while __glaring __menacingly __at __my __brother__._

_I__ saw __Alan__'__s __fingers __behind__ his __back__, __slowly __counting __down__ to __one__. __When __he __put __his __last __finger __down__, __we __said __in __unison__, "__Of __course__, __mother __dear__."_

_She __rolled __her __eyes__, __disappearing __into __the __den __to __grab __her __purse__. "__It__'__s __very __weird __when __you __do __that__."_

_Alan __and__ I __glanced __at __each __other__. "__Sorry__, __mother__ dear__," __we __replied__, __timing __it __perfectly__._

_ "__Come __on__, __time __to __get __in __the __car__." __Lela __hopped __off __the __couch__, __texting __away__ on __her __cell__phone__. __We__ piled __into __the __car__, __and __headed__ to __Dad__'__s__. __Lela __was __on __her __phone __the __whole __time__, __and __Alan __and __I __were __having __great __fun __talking__ in __unison __and __finishing __each __others __sentences__. __Most __of __the __time__ it __made __no __sense __but __sometimes __we__ were __able __to __get__ it__ right__._

_Our __dad__ was __in __the __front __yard__, __driving __around __on __a __four __wheeler__. __He __was __wearing __his __famous __plaid__ shirt__, __work boots__, __and__ a __baseball __cap__. __I __rolled __down __the __window __as __Mom__ drove__ into __the __driveway__. "__BURLY __MAN__!" __I __yelled__._

_He__ looked __up __and __grinned__ at __the __sight __of __us__. "__City__-__slickers__," __he __yelled __back__. __I __heard __my__ mother __mutter __under __her __breath__ about__ '__Dan __is __as __childish__ as __ever__'. _

_Alan __and __I __hopped __out __of __the __car__, __and__ tackled__ him __with __a __large __hug__. __Lela __followed __more__ slowly__, __still __absorbed__ in__ her __phone__. "__I __want __them__ home __on __time__. __No __late __nights__ tonight__," __Mom __called __through __the __window__. __Dad __nodded __briefly __towards__ her__, __not __looking __her __direction__. "__Have __a __good __time__, __kids__," __Mom__ called __as __she __backed __out __of __the __driveway__, __heading__ home__. _

_ "__How__'__s __the __warden__?" __Dad__ whispered__ conspiratorially __to __us__._

_ "__Which __one__? __Our __mom__, __or __our __step__-__dad__?" __Lela __replied__._

_Alan __and __I __laughed __and __looked __at __each __other__. "__See__, __brother__-__dear__?"_

_ "__We__ may __be __related __to __her __after __all__, __sister__-__dear__."_

_Dad __chuckled __and __ruffled __our __hair__. "__Come __on__, __doppelgangers__. __Who __wants __to __ride __the __four__-__wheeler __first__?"_

_ "__I__ DO__!" __Alan __and __I__ yelled __in __sync__, __unintentionally __this __time__._

_ "__GET__ YOUR __BURLY __MAN __ON__!"_

~..*..~

"I've got the moves like Jagger. I've got the moves like Jagger. I've got the moooooooves like Jagger," I sang, hopping from foot to foot through the snow.

"How is it you're not cold?" Pippin asked in disbelief.

"I'm a Mainer! We can handle the heat, and the cold!" I replied cheerfully. My grin turned evil. "You know what else is amazing about us Mainers?"

"What?" Merry inquired.

"WE'RE THE BEST AT SNOWBALL FIGHTS OTHER THAN BUDDY THE ELF!" I yelled, grabbing a fistful of snow, shaping it deftly into a snowball, and threw it at the back of Aragorn's head - in under five seconds. Like a boss.

Aragorn whipped around, and looked at me. "IT WAS BOROMIR!" I yelled.

"The lady lies!" Boromir defended himself.

I nudged Pippin. Pippin nodded. "Strider, it was him that threw it. Sammy here, she's bein' wrongly accused!"

"Pippin, you do not have to go along with her," Aragorn told him.

"Yes, he does."

"No, he does not."

"Yes!"

"Sammy..."

"Aragorn..."

SPLAT! A snowball hit me in the back of my head. I whipped around. "WHO JUST DID THAT?"

Boromir walked by me, a smirk on his face. "I thought you said that Mainers are the best at snowball fights. Perhaps you were wrong in your judgement."

"OH IT IS ON!" I yelled, scooping up more snow. With my two hobbit minions next to me, I attacked Boromir with snowballs. As much as I disliked him when I first met him, I had to admit that he was a pretty decent guy. Until this, of course. This was just crossing the line.

After tiring out from our mini-snowball war (I insisted firmly that Merry, Pippin and I won), I began walking beside Gimli and bugging him with questions having to do with Bilbo and the dwarves. Sadly, I was obsessed with that story. I didn't manage to get Bilbo's account of it from him from our brief meeting. Gimli was busy describing what he knew about Beorn from Gloin, (and adding in about Beorn's son, Grimbeorn, who had taken over Beorn's duties as chieftain), when I heard a shout from behind me.

Glancing back, I saw Frodo rolling down the slope. Aragorn ran back towards him, and helped him up. "Ouch," I murmured sympathetically.

Frodo brushed snow off of himself, but became agitated, clutching at his neck. I slowly stopped walking, coming to stand next to Legolas (he was walking on top of the snow. Showoff). I watched in concern as Boromir picked up the ring, dangling it by his chain.

I heard Aragorn's voice faintly. "Boromir." I couldn't hear what Boromir said next, but Aragorn persisted. "Boromir! Give the ring to Frodo."

Boromir stilled, then walked forward, handing it back to Frodo. From Boromir's expression, I could tell that he was trying to laugh it off, ruffling Frodo's hair. As Boromir turned away, I saw Aragorn slowly let go of the hilt of his sword.

We continued walking up the mountain. "Legolas," I said slowly.

Legolas paused, looking back at me in shock. It was probably because I had spoken seriously. "Yes, Sammy?" I guess that Aragorn had tipped him off about calling me 'my lady'.

"Aragorn wouldn't have hurt Boromir, would he? Because we're all in this together." I looked up at him.

Legolas looked back down the Fellowship to where Boromir was helping Merry and Pippin along through the snow. "I do not know. Times are dark, and we can not afford to take chances."

I decided to let the matter lie. Being serious wasn't very fun, in my opinion. My philosophy had always been along the lines of 'Laugh at everything that goes by you in life.' I quickly made a snowball and loped at Legolas's head. As if he sensed it coming, he ducked out of the way and quickly retaliated.

"HOLY NINJA!" I yelled, ignoring for the moment that I just got a snowball in the face. "DUDE! You have GOT to train me!"

Legolas looked confused, poor chap. "Train...you?"

"In the ways of the ninja," I explained slowly, like talking to a small child.

Legolas shook his head, bemused, and decided not to answer me.

Some time later, we struggled up the mountain. The snow was flying thick and furious around us, and was up to my chest. "We've never had this much snow in Maine before!" I muttered under my breath, pushing through the snow.

Legolas, the jerk, was walking on top of the snow. He paused and looked out from the mountain. "There's a fell voice on the air!" he called.

"It's Saruman!" Gandalf yelled, as rocks fell from the mountain. I yelled and covered my head, but the rocks missed us.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain!" Aragorn shouted. "Gandalf, we must turn back!"

"No!" Gandalf yelled back, and stepped to the edge of the mountain, and began speaking in a weird language. An answering voice almost seemed to drown him out. Suddenly, a giant streak of lightning hit the snow above us, and my world went dark in the avalanche.

Moments later a giant hand lifted me out of the snow. "Are ye alright?" Gimli called. I nodded, panting.

"We must get off the mountain!" Boromir shouted. "Make for the Gap of Rohan and head west to my city!"

"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isenguard!" Aragorn argued.

"If we cannot pass over the mountain, then let us go under it!" Gimli said. "Let us go through the Mines of Moria."

Gandalf hesitated, thinking over. "Let the Ringerbearer decide," he said finally.

Frodo hesitated, looking us over. "We will go through the mines," he said.

Gandalf grew grim. "So be it."

* * *

><p>AN

Sorry for the rather short chapter. I had to get this out here while my muse was still visiting. I've been very sick for the past week, so sorry if it's a little bleh.

Please please PLEASE do my poll! It's about Alan, Sammy's twin brother. I have a couple of choices regarding what happens to him, and I can't decide which, so it's up to you! I'd love to have it closed within the next two chapters that I write, so I can start planning ideas.

Please review!

~Eva Sirico~

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><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

Section wars are a normal part of life.


	8. Jar of Dirt!

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the Hobbit, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Pan's Labyrinth, Tootsie Pop commercial slogan-thing, Paranormal Activity, Meow Mix**

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><p>~Chapter 8~<p>

I nodded slowly. "Sooo let me get this straight." (I snickered under my breath at the potential that's-what-she-said joke.) "Sauron used to be this wicked tall guy with this Darth Vader armor thing but now he's just a giant eyeball?" I shook my head in pity. "Why is it all the evil villains lose a body part?"

Seeing Aragorn's confused face, I began to explain. "Darth Vader lost an arm and a leg. Though, he did turn good in the end. Sauron loses his whole frickin' body, and Davy Jones lost his heart. Oh, don't forget Voldemort lost a nose," I added thoughtfully.

He shook his head slowly. "And these are all evil beings in your world?"

I nodded solemnly. "Darth Vader was the father of Luke Skywalker, who killed the Emperor and saved the galaxy. Davy Jones was this pirate guy but when he turned evil he went all tentacle-ly. And Voldemort, well, after a very intense seventeen years (though he was thought to be dead for most of them) was killed by Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived! Ya know, he was a wizard. Went to Hogwarts School for Witches and Wizards."

Gandalf looked very interested. "There is a school for them? Tell me about this."

I launched off into a huge explanation about Hogwarts and the wizarding world, and Gandalf frequently interrupting to ask me questions. I answered to the best of my ability.

"Are you a witch, then?" Pippin piped up, awed.

I shook my head. "Naw, they're just books."

Gandalf's eyes widened. "Pardon?"

"They're just something that a woman made up. It's not real." I sighed. "I _wish_ it was, though! I WANNA GO TO HOGWARTS!"

"And you failed to mention this, why?" Gandalf inquired, his blue eyes flashing.

"Oh, sorry. You never asked."

Gandalf grumbled under his breath and stalked ahead. "I'm in the same boat, buddy," I called after him. "I thought they were real too..." Aragorn rolled his eyes slightly.

I was quiet for a second as we walked, before softly humming the Pan's Labyrinth lullaby under my breath. Pan's Labyrinth was one of my favorite movies of all time, but I wouldn't recommend it to any kids under fifteen.

"What song are you singing?" Legolas asked curiously.

"It's a lullaby from my world. Not one that's widely known, but..."

"Does it have words?" Pippin piped up.

"No..."

"Make some, then!" Merry volunteered.

I blinked. "What?"

"Yeah! Make some up!" Pippin agreed.

"Fine..." I muttered, and began casting around in my mind.

"_Hopeless__, __weary __travelers_

_Searching __for __a __hint __of __hope_

_Heading__ closer __to __their __doom__, __but __who__'__s __to __say__, __that__'__s __true__?_

_There__'__s__ always __hope_

_Even__ in __the __dark__ times_

_If__ you __stay __true_

_Then __p__'__raps __you__'__ll __find_

_A __way __back__ home __again__."_

"That was really good for making it up on demand!" Pippin said, impressed.

"Who knew that the good lady had a serious side," Boromir added, rather caustically.

"You're lucky that we're out of the snow or that remark would've cost a snowball in the face!" I yelled back, fuming.

"Ah! The walls of Moria!" Gimli interrupted the brewing argument, pointing.

"Who is this Morry guy?" I asked irritably. "Would someone care to enlighten me?" A mental vision of my world studies teacher flicking on the light to show 'enlightenment' flashed through my mind, and I started giggling. Everyone pretty much ignored me, as usual.

"Dwarf doors are invisible when closed," Gimli continued, prodding the wall with his axe.

"Yes, Gimli!" Gandalf called. "Their own masters cannot find them, if their secrets are forgotten!"

"Why does that not surprise me?" Legolas muttered under his breath as he walked past.

My jaw dropped and I looked at Gimli. "Would you like some ice for that burn?" I received a glare and a muttered _ach__! _in response.

As Gandalf started to sing praises about the door, I wandered around the edge of the lake. "If that lake was human I'd label it a definite creeper." I blinked as a thought struck me. "No. If that lake was in human form, then it would be Jordan!" Creepy little fishmen... Sorry, _freshman__._

Gandalf was busy trying out all kinds of passwords on the door, while the Fellowship lounged around. I continued meandering around the place, and paused at a pile of dirt as a thought struck me. I turned to Boromir. "Oi! Child! Do you have a jar?"

Boromir looked incredulous being spoken to as such. "I am hardly a child, milady!"

"BOROMIR. IT'S SAMMY. And no, your name is Child. Now, Child, can I have a jar?"

Glaring at me, Boromir took out an empty jar from his backpack-knapsack thing. "Gracias, mi amigo!" I called cheerfully, and went back to the pile of dirt. Scooping some up in the jar, I sealed the lid.

"Why'd you do that?" Pippin asked, staring at it.

"It's a jar of dirt!" I replied cheerfully. "I needed a good luck charm from this world, and the jar of dirt is supposed to protect me." I turned around and called out to Gimli, who was by the doors of Morry's house-mine. "OI! GIMLI!"

"What?" Gimli gruffly called back, confused.

I held the jar above my head. "I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!" I sang.

"Dirt?" Legolas inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Wrong, whelp! Thump-thump!" I corrected cheerfully.

Legolas's eyes darkened in surpressed anger. "_Whelp__?_"

I nodded. "You look a lot like Orlando Bloom, heck, I'd say you were Orlando Bloom! With blonde hair and pointy ears, but that's not important! Therefore, you are also known as William Turner, who's affectionate nickname given to him by one Captain Jack Sparrow, is whelp." I padded his arm sympathetically. "No offense meant, mate."

"I'll try not to take any," Legolas replied with difficulty, turning away from me. I looked at Gandalf, who had just sat down on a rock in defeat.

"Didja try Open Sesame?" I called, receiving a busy-eyebrowed glare in response. "Sheesh, just trying to be helpful," I muttered, slouching away.

Frodo suddenly stood up. "It's a riddle!"

"Time! The answer is time!" I yelled excitedly.

Gandalf sent me a glare. There is just no being around that grouchy gus sometimes. "I believe that you are thinking of the wrong journey."

Frodo continued, as if he hadn't been interrupted. "Speak friend...and enter. What's the elvish word for friend?"

"Mellon," Gandalf said, at the exact same time I said, "Amigo." We glared at each other as the door opened.

"What's the real password for the door? The world may never know," I muttered under my breath as the Fellowship gathered around. We all followed Gandalf as he headed into the mine first.

"Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves. Roaring fires! Malt beer! Red meat off the bone!" Gimli rumbled.

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "I'll stick to the pocky and bags of Hannaford chicken for marching band, thanks."

"This my friend is the home of my cousin Balin and they call it a mine!" Gimli snorted, ignoring me. "A mine!"

"Balin! That guy was always one of my favorite dwarves!" I murmured to myself as Gandalf's stuff illuminated the place, casting light on a number of skeletons around it. I yelped at the sight and hid behind the hobbits.

"This isn't a mine; it's a tomb," Boromir breathed.

Gimli's eyes widened, and he rushed towards a corpse. "No!" he wailed.

The whelp pulled an arrow out of a skeleton. "Goblins!" he hissed in disgust.

Aragorn and Boromir drew their swords, while Lego-man took out his bow, nocking an arrow to it. "We make for the Gap of Rohan," Boromir growled. "We never should have come here!" He looked to the hobbits and I, where we were cowering at the doorway. "Now, get out of here! Get out!"

Next to me, Frodo falls to the ground, and dragged out of sight. "PARANORMAL ACTIVITY MUCH?" I screamed, before seeing what had grabbed him. "HOLY SHI-"

"FRODO!" Merry and Pippin yelled, alerting Boromir and Aragorn to the little hobbit's plight. I was frozen for a second, staring at what had taken Frodo.

"IT'S THE KRAKEN!" I screamed. Immensely grateful for my good luck charm, I held up the jar, waving it at the monster. "JAR OF DIRT! I'VE GOT A JAR OF DIRT! SHOO! GO AWAY! THERE'S NO JACK SPARROW HERE! GO BACK TO DAVY JONES, BEASTIE!"

"Strider!" Frodo screamed as he was being shaken around. Aragorn and Boromir rushed the monster, swords aloft, while Legolas shot arrow after arrow into it. I was still waving my jar of dirt around, yelling at the monster. After shooting another arrow into the monster, Legolas grabbed my arm and threw me into the cavern.

With Frodo in hand, the two men raced into the mine, with Legolas covering their escape. The ten of us hurried away from the opening as the beastie reached its tentacles into the cavern and brought a shower of rocks raining onto the entrance, effectively blocking the entrance.

There was silence for a moment, before Boromir turned to me. "What the hell do you think you were doing, Lady Sammy?" he snapped.

I was cradling my jar of dirt. "It's supposed to ward off the Kraken," I explained, hurt.

"Seriously?" Pippin asked, reaching out a hand to touch my jar.

"My jar of dirt!" I growled, protectively holding it out of harm's way. "I will play Meow Mix over and over again on my recorder if you touch my jar of dirt!" Alarmed, Pippin withdrew his hand. Although he may not know what Meow Mix is, he understood a band geek threat when he heard one.

Gandalf casted us a stern glance. "Quietly now. We now have but one choice, we must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard, there are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world." He started to walk forward, but paused and looked back at me. "No singing or playing that musical instrument of yours, either," he ordered sternly before turning away.

I gulped. No singing? I sighed in defeat as I hurried to catch up with the Fellowship. This was going to be a long journey.

* * *

><p>AN

I'm baaaack! Missed me? Today has been one of my good days, so I pushed myself to update ^.^

Ah, yes, marching band. The comment that Sammy made about the food was serious. In my marching band, that's pretty much all we eat. You know, those bags of chicken tenders in the butcher-shop part of Hannaford? That and boxes of pocky. Those are the good days *wipes away imaginary tear*

GOT ANY BAND GEEK JOKES NATIVE TO YOUR BAND? SEND THEM IN! I'll add you in the disclaimer, and add your jokes to my story! I love hearing the different jokes from other bands everywhere ^.^ (Ah, yes, D.L. Sauron, your famous joke will be in the next chapter!)

Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/alerted! You all make my day better :)

DON'T FORGET TO DO MY POLL! VERY IMPORTANT! I need to have that closed in a couple of chapters!

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><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

You've been locked in a tuba case.


	9. Sauron Plays the Sousaphone

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the Hobbit**

**Joke Disclaimer: I do not own D.L. Sauron's joke (see bottom author's note for which joke)**

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><p>~Chapter 9~<p>

In the end, I was forced to be gagged to stop my singing. My recorder was taken away from me, and Aragorn tried as well to take away my drumsticks, but I almost bit his hand off. NO ONE touches my drumsticks. Gandalf ended up giving me the most frightening look I have ever seen in my life, telling me in a terrifying tone of voice that if I so much as tapped them against my leg he would turn me into the most horrifying thing I could think of.

Needless to say, the drumsticks stayed in my back pocket.

Gandalf was busy droning on about Moria, sounding like a tour guide. "The wealth of Moria is not in jewels, but Mithril."

Mithril. Mithril. Why did that sound familiar?

"Bilbo had a shirt of Mithril rings that Thorin gave him," Gandalf continued, and my eyes lit up. Of course! On the eve of battle with the Men of Dale and the Mirkwood Elves, Thorin had suited Bilbo up for war in the armor! I remembered! I did a happy little dance, excited at the fact that facts from my favorite book were appearing here.

Everyone cast me bewildered looks, and shrugging, I stopped. _I __wish __I __had __watched __the __movies __recently __or __read __the __books __for __Lord __of __the __Rings__, __though_, I thought absently. It might have given me some insight as to what would happen next.

After a time, we appeared at a junction with three tunnels leading off in different directions. Gandalf paused, and looked troubled. "I have no memory of this place."

I glared at him, giving him the you-have-GOT-to-be-kidding-me look. This was worse than the time that one of our marching band buses, the one that I was on with Alan, got lost on the way to finals. We barely showed up in time to warm up.

We all sat down, and Aragorn removed the gag. I collapsed to the floor, pretending to wheeze. "Ah, sweet air! How I missed you!" I started coughing. "BLAH! Gross, musty, dirty, stinky air!"

"Be silent!" Gandalf grumbled from where he perched on a rock, smoking a pipe. I huffed, but obeyed him. I didn't want to be gagged again.

Everything was silent for a couple minutes, save for the hobbits whispering to themselves. "AHA!" I cried out triumphantly, but lowered my voice at the glare that Gandalf gave me. "I've got it!"

"Got what, Sammy?" Pippin asked curiously.

I pointed at the four hobbits with a drumstick that miraculously appeared in my hand. "Percussion. The four of you would be percussionists, just because it would be funny to try to see you play timpani or congas!" I pointed at Gimli. "Tuba! Or trombone! Or baritone horn! One of those low brass instruments!" I pointed to Aragorn next. "Trumpet, definitely!" I looked at Boromir. "Saxophone. You'd be fit for alto or tenor, but not soprano or baritone." I looked at Gandalf, tapping my chin thoughtfully with a drumstick. "Probably clarinet. Oboe or english horn would fit you as well, though."

I turned to Legolas last. "Piccolo. Just...piccolo."

"What are all of these?" Boromir inquired. "And is a...'saxophone' a good thing?"

I nodded cheerfully. "They're all musical instruments! And a saxophone is great; I used to play it before I switched to percussion in sixth grade, and my twin brother Alan plays the sax!"

"You have a twin brother?" Merry asked in awe.

"I was not aware of this," Aragorn commented.

I shrugged. "You never asked." I smiled as memories rushed over me. "Yeah. We do everything together, pretty much. I miss him a lot. He'd love it here." I chuckled at the thought of what Alan would do if he ever came into Middle Earth. Chaos is what would happen.

I sobered at the thought of home, and my last moments. What exactly happened? Was I dead, or just in a coma?

Did Alan see the accident happen?

I dreaded the last thought. If Alan saw it happen, then it would be terrible on him. I winced as I realized that the saxophones were in the front line at the moment where I tripped. Shit. After this quest-thing was over, I needed to go home and see Alan again.

"Aha!" Gandalf said triumphantly, shaking me out of my dark thoughts. "It's this way!"

"He's remembered!" Merry cried, leaping up.

Gandalf chuckled. "No, but the air doesn't smell as foul down here. When in doubt, Meriadoc Brandybuck, always follow your nose."

"Probably the wisest words ever said," I mumbled seriously as I stood up to follow the rest of the Fellowship. I paused, and looked back. "Sauron would be a sousaphone player!" I grinned at the thought. "Yeah! Although, he could be a drum major, because then he'd be wicked tall and then he wouldn't need a podium. Jay always said-"

"Stop talking to yourself and hurry up, lassie!" Gimli grumbled from down the tunnel.

I jumped. "Sorry!" I raced to catch up the rest of the Fellowship, stowing the drumsticks in my back pocket.

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><p>AN

**D.L. Sauron's Joke: **Sauron being a sousaphone player/drum major because he doesn't need a podium!

SEND IN A BAND GEEK STORY/JOKE, AND I MIGHT JUST ADD IT IN THE STORY!

DO MY POLL PLEEEEEASE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT!

Anywhoo, yes. Very quick chappie, but I haven't really been feeling that great lately. Today has been one of my very awesome days, so I managed to update. WHY IS IT ONE OF MY AWESOME DAYS? MY JAZZ BAND MADE STATES WITH A SCORE OF 1! :D :D :D :D (1 is the best score you can get!) I play vibes in my jazz band, so I can't wait! States is in March, so we still have a couple weeks to practice! ^.^ Sorry! Rambling!

Review and you get a free ninja alpaca! :D

~Eva Sirico~

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><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

Your worst nightmare is two piccolos out of tune. (No offense meant, of course, no offense...)


	10. Let's Get Down to Business

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the Hobbit, Snow White, The Ring, Halloween, Pirates of the Caribbean, Mulan**

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><p>~Chapter 10~<p>

We walked into a great cavern. Many ornate columns stretched from floor to ceiling. "Let me risk a little more light," Gandalf murmured as he lit up his staff more. "Behold the great realm and dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf."

"That's an eye opener, no mistake," Sam breathed in awe.

"Duuude," I muttered, whistling in appreciation. It was _beautiful_ here. "You dwarves are awesome at architecture! I wonder, did you teach the Seven Dwarves how to do that? Or just to mine for jewels? Do you guys even mine for jewels? And why is it so hard to say the word 'jewel'? Jewel. Jewel. Jewel. Jewel. Jeeewweeelll. Jewel!" I gasped. "IT DOESN'T EVEN SOUND LIKE A WORD ANYMORE!"

Gandalf whacked me gently with his staff. "Silence, or we will gag you again!" I gulped, and obeyed.

As we walked across the huge floor, Gimli let out a sudden cry. "Oh!" He broke away from the group and towards a door leading into another room.

"Gimli!" Gandalf snapped, but the distraught dwarf ignored him. We all followed after him, and came into a smaller room. There was a tomb in the middle of the room, with skeletons surrounding it. Wincing, I hid behind the Child, also known as Boromir.

Gandalf walked up to the tomb, and read the runes inscribed on it. "Here lies Balin, son of Fundin, Lord of Moria. He is dead then." Gimli let out a whimper, and my jaw dropped. Gandalf removed his hat, seemingly weighed down. "It is as I feared, then."

"What? No! Balin was awesome, okay? He can't be dead! Oh, Tolkien, you _didn__'__t__!"_ I glared at the tomb and muttered curses at said author of the books.

Gandalf tossed his hat and staff to Pippin, and knelt down beside a skeleton, removing the book from his fingers. "Gross, Gramps," I muttered, wrinkling my nose and turning away. Gandalf ignored me and blew the dust off of the book.

"We must move on, we cannot linger," Piccolo (formerly Legolas) whispered to Aragorn.

Gandalf ignored the whelp and started reading from the book. "They have taken the Bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums... Drums in the deep." I noticed Pippin back away from the group and glancing around him. "We cannot get out." It was worse than a horror movie. That Gandalf was one hell of a storyteller. Everyone was treating it like the Halloween movie and the Ring combined, glancing around as if they expected to see Samara or Micheal Myers hiding in a corner.

"A shadow moves in the dark," Gandalf continued. I saw Pippin glance behind him and notice a skeleton sitting on the edge of a hole. I cocked my head to the side, and tried to bring up fuzzy memories. Didn't something happen between Pippin and some well that was bad...? "We cannot get out," Gandalf said, bringing his voice down to a whisper - for dramatic effect, of course. "_They __are __coming_."

Everyone looked pretty freaked out. I opened my mouth to say a witty remark, but something beat me to it. A loud clang reverberated throughout the chamber, and the nine of us, excluding Pippin, jumped a mile. "Holy sh-" The rest of my exclamation was cut off by the rest of the skeleton following the abandoned. Pippin winced at every clang that happened.

_Oh__, __shit__, _I thought. _That__'__s __the __well__._ There was a silence for a moment, before Gandalf slammed the book closed with a furious _bang_. "Fool of a Took!" he hissed, and I swear to this day that I saw sparks fly from his mouth. Grabbing his hat and staff back, he snapped, "Throw yourself in next time, and rid us of your stupidity!"

Ouch. That had to hurt. I sent a sympathetic glance towards Pippin's way, but he didn't notice. As I turned away, a quiet _boom_ sounded throughout the chamber. Everyone froze. "Please tell me that wasn't what I thought it was," I said to everyone, but a louder _boom _confirmed it. I gulped. "I think this is the first time ever that I will admit it, but right now I'm ashamed to play percussion."

"Frodo!" I heard Sam gasp, and I looked over to see Frodo drawing a sword. The blade was blue. My eyes widened. _Sting__! __Bilbo__'__s __sword__!_ _That __means__...__GOBLINS__!_

"Orcs!" Piccolo gasped. Close enough.

Boromir ran to the door and looked out. Two arrows nearly embedded themselves in his head, and he pulled back just in time.

"Get back!" Aragorn snapped at the hobbits and me. "Stay close to Gandalf!"

It was that moment when I realized a crucial detail. I tugged on Gandalf's sleeve. "Sword? Please?"

Gandalf nudged a sword from a skeleton with his foot, and I picked it up, grimacing. "Sorry!" I hissed at the skeleton. Poor bloke didn't answer me, thank goodness.

"They have a cave troll," Child said in a sarcastic happy tone.

I raised my eyes to the ceiling. "Can't have forgotten the cave troll at home, nope! Just haaad to bring it!"

Gimli climbed on top of the tomb, brandishing his axe. "Let them come!" he roared. "There's still one dwarf in Moria who still draws breath!"

A twisted smile appeared on my face. "Let's get down to business!"

* * *

><p>AN

A rather short chapter, I apologize. Hopefully I'll get another one out before vacation ends.

STILL ACCEPTING BAND GEEK JOKES!

PLEASE DO POLL!

Blah blah blah...eh no random rants about band today. Just not up to it, guess.

Also, please check out my other story, Roads Go Ever On. It's a rather cute story about a young girl who gets tossed into Middle Earth with her faithful dog, and stays in the Shire for a while (GlorfindelxOC story).

Review and you get magical glittery peanut butter!

~Eva Sirico~

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><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

...you duck every time you see a flag.


	11. The Force is Strong With This One

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the Hobbit, I'll Make a Man Out of You (from Mulan), Star Wars, Narnia, Pirates of the Caribbean**

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><p>~Chapter 11~<p>

I needed an iPod. And speakers.

And a playlist of the most absolute dramatic music I could find.

The orcs burst through the door, while Whelp fired arrow after arrow at them. Remind me not to make fun of him to his face anymore. He is _badass__._ Of course, not as badass as Aragorn was. Him and Boromir, psshh, ya should have seen them! Taking down orcs left and right! Gold medal right there.

Halsburg can get bronze for all I care.

Off topic! I mentally cursed at myself as three orcs advanced on me and the hobbits. "FOR NARNIA!" I yelled, swinging my sword wildly. The orcs backed away from me warily, but one snuck up in back of me. I swung my sword at it, and it grunted, falling to the ground. I cackled madly, going into a frenzy. "LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS! TO DEFEAT THE ORCS! DID THEY SEND ME HOBBITS? WHEN I ASKED FOR DWARVES! YOU'RE THE SADDEST BUNCH I'VE EVER MET! BUT YOU CAN BET BEFORE WE'RE THROUGH! SOMEHOW I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU!"

Luckily, I had managed to stay out of the way of the cave troll. I kept close to Gimli, singing I'll Make a Man Out of You at the top of my lungs. Gimli just swung his axe, like a total boss, taking out orcs left and right.

"Frodo!" I heard Aragorn yell sometime during the fight. Turning, I saw Frodo trying to dodge the troll. The troll grabbed ahold of him and started dragging him along.

"Aragorn!" Frodo screamed in terror. While Aragorn tried to help, he was thrown against the wall. Merry and Pippin, with me right behind them, leaped onto the troll's back, stabbing him. I held on firmly to the troll's shoulder, attempting to stab him in the neck. I was thrown backwards, and landed on the ledge. Looking up in time, I saw the troll plunge its spear into Frodo's chest.

I froze, along with the rest of the Fellowship.

"Frodo!" I don't know which one of us shouted that as I made my way down to where Frodo was lying, dodging orcs left and right. Thank god for summer camp when it came to dodgeball, because I am champion at that game!

While Legolas killed the troll, I dropped beside the poor hobbit fearfully. "Stay with me! Don't move towards the light! Don't do it!" I pleaded.

I was soon joined by the rest of the fellowship. "Oh, no," Aragorn murmured as he gently turned Frodo over. Frodo let out a gasp and groaned, and everyone around us jumped in shock. Frodo held his chest while Sam rushed forward and collapsed beside him.

"He's alive!" Sam exclaimed, beaming in relief.

I jumped in the air, pumping my fist. "Hallelujah!" I yelled, grinning wildly, while the rest of the Fellowship relaxed in relief.

"I'm alright. I'm not hurt," Frodo told us all.

"You should be dead," Aragorn contradicted. "That spear should have skewered a wild boar!"

"I think there's more to this hobbit than meets the eye," Gandalf murmured.

"He has the Force!" I gasped. I narrowed my eyes at the offending hobbit. "_I __knew __it__._"

Frodo spared me a glance before parting his shirt, revealing a mail shirt. My eyes widened. "Oooh~! Shiny~!" I reached out to touch it before Gandalf slapped my hand away. Hurt, I cradled my hand and muttered under my breath about 'cracked-up old wizards'.

"Mithril!" Gimli exclaimed in awe, letting out a whistle. "You are full of surprises, Master Baggins!"

"Wait!" I said, eyes widening in realization. "That's Bilbo Baggin's shirt! The one that he wore at the Battle of the Five Armies!" I stared in awe at the important piece of monumental history to my poor, crazed brain.

"Yes, yes, but we most move on," Gandalf tersely as screeches and shadows began to appear behind us. "To the Bridge of Khazad-dum!"

* * *

><p>AN

Yes, yes, I apologize at how incredibly short it is. I know that I should have drawn out the battle scene longer, but I wasn't in a peppy mood when I wrote in, so I apologize for the suckiness xP I promise that on my honor as a band geek that the next chapter will be regular length!

POLL!

JOKES!

SQUIRREL!

Love y'all, thanks a million for the reviews!

~Eva Sirico~

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><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

...It rains every Thursday - just in time for marching band practice.


	12. What The Bleep Are You Doing?

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the Hobbit, Pirates of the Caribbean**

* * *

><p>~Chapter 12~<p>

"RUUUUUN~!" I screamed, sprinting with the rest of the Fellowship out of the guard room, orcs pouring out after us. "THE BRITISH ARE COMING, THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"

"BE SILENT FOR ONCE IN YOUR SHORT, MISERABLE LIFE!" Boromir roared at me, grabbing my arm and pulling me along faster.

"DON'T HATE MY AWESOME NINJANESS!" I yelled back, trying not to trip over rocks and rubble strewn around the floor.

We ran into the middle of a huge cavernous room, but thousands of orcs were appearing everywhere. They were climbing down the pillars from the ceilings and pouring in from doors. Soon we were surrounded. "We can take them! LET'S DO THIS THING!" I yelled, brandishing my sword. Aragorn grabbed my arm and tugged me back into the group.

"Do not move!" he hissed in my ear, brandishing his sword in front of me at the orcs.

There was a loud, deep boom happening at the end of the hall. Everyone seemed to freeze, listening to the loud booming. The next second, the orcs became to flee, leaving the ten of us alone in the hall.

A loud roar filled the hall, and fire began flickering. "What new devilry is this?" Boromir whispered.

"Dragon?" I asked hopefully, then gasped, my eyes widening. "It's Smaug the Dragon, back from the dead! Hide yo hobbits, hide yo dwarves, 'cause he's-"

"It's a Balrog, a demon of the ancient world," Gandalf muttered, his eyes resigned. Whelp's eyes widened in fear, as Gandalf continued. "This foe is beyond any of you. RUN!"

Aragorn gripped my arm, tugging me along as we ran to a door at the end of the hall. Boromir was ahead of the gang, and nearly teetered off the edge if it was for Will Tu- I mean, Legolas. He grabbed Boromir-child and tugged him away from the edge.

We continued on down very narrow steps. "Good thing that Alan isn't here!" I muttered in between gasping for breath. "He's scared of heights!"

We arrived at a gap. Legolas nimbly jumped over first - "Bloody show-off elf!" - and beckoned to Gandalf, who jumped over next - like a boss.

Arrows appeared out of nowhere, nearly killing me, Child, and the hobbit-minions. While Legolas turned and started shooting back at the orcs, Boromir grabbed my minions and jumped over the gap.

Aragorn beside me yelled in my ear, "Sammy! Go!"

I shook my head throwing up my hands in defense. "ARE YOU BLEEPIN' CRAZY? THERE'S NO BLEEPIN' WAY I'M GONNA-"

I was cut off as Aragorn grabbed me and shoved me over the gap, me shrieking the whole way. Boromir grabbed me before I could teeter off the edge, but a drumstick got loose in my pocket and began to fall. "CATCH IT! CATCH IT!" I screamed, and luckily Boromir managed to grasp it before it disappeared. I tacked him with a hug, nearly crying with relief, clutching my beloved drumstick.

I turned around in time to see Legolas grabbing ahold of Gimli's beard, and tugging him back onto the ledge. Only Aragorn and Frodo were left on the other one. The roof began to crumble, and pieces of it took off the ledge right behind Aragorn and Frodo. The staircase began to sway.

Aragorn grabbed Frodo's clothes. "Hang on!" he yelled.

"JUMP! I BELIEVE IN YOUUUU!" I yelled, watching the ledge sway back and forth. Legolas tugged me away from the edge to give them more room to leap. Legolas held out his arms. "Come on!" he yelled

The two of them jumped, and Frodo landed safely in Legolas's arms. The ten of us went off again, making our way to the bridge. "Over the bridge!" Gandalf yelled, herding us on as the fire began to creep closer.

I gulped at how narrow it was, but decided not to complain. I followed the hobbits over the bridge, and turned around to see the Balrog for the first time. My first impression? _Holy __shit__._ And who was standing in front of it? Gandalf.

"JUST APOLOGIZE TO MORRY FOR GOING THROUGH HIS MINES AND GET THE F*CK OUT OF THERE!" I screamed at the old wizard, but he ignored me.

"You cannot pass!" Gandalf yelled at Morry.

Beside me, Frodo looked on in horror. "Gandalf!" he yelled.

Gandalf glared at Morry. "I am the Servant of the Secret Fire, Wielder of the Flame of Anor!" The balrog drew its sword and held it up aloft. "The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udûn!" The balrog brought its sword down on Gandalf's staff, but amazingly, it didn't crack.

"Go back to the shadows!" Gandalf yelled, as the Balrog cracked its fiery whip. "YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS!" Gandalf roared, striking his sword down on the bridge.

My eyes were wide. "Dude, he'd be an amazing quarterback or something!" I made my voice really deep. "You shall not pass!"

The Balrog ignored Gandalf, and took a step forward, only to have the bridge crack under his feet. Morry let out a terrifying roar as he began to fall down into the depths. Everyone breathed out a sign of relief, and I pumped my fist in the air. "Gandalf, you are BOSS!"

All of a sudden, a crackling sound rang out, and the fiery whip appeared out of nowhere and wrapped around Gandalf's leg. He was dragged to the edge, and was left clinging to the rock. Frodo and I started to dash forward, terrified, but Boromir grabbed ahold of Frodo, and Legolas grabbed ahold of me.

"What the f*ck are you doing? Let me go! Dude, we can save him!" I screamed at Legolas, but he wouldn't relent.

"GANDALF!" Frodo screamed.

For a moment everything seemed to be silent. Gandalf's expression turned to one of resignation. "Fly, you fools!" he hissed, before letting go and dropping down out of sight.

"NOOO! YOU IDJIT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I screamed, but it was too late. Gandalf was gone.

* * *

><p>AN

I know, I know, I haven't updated in forever :P Here ya goo!

GUESS WHAT? My jazz band (Jazz 2) came 3rd in states! W00T! We had 7 different jazz bands from my town (2 jazz bands and 5 combos), and every single one of them except for one combo placed! And we got like 5 people with special musicianship awards! YEAH GO US! XD

By the by, for my poll, it's tied between two. I think I'm going to go with Alan appearing in Middle Earth, but not until way later, but stay tuned!

Review and you get a free hot air balloon one-way ticket to Narnia! :D

~Eva Sirico~

* * *

><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

...you hold the door open with a drumstick.


	13. Not the Twilight Vampires!

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, Dora the Explorer, Pirates of the Caribbean, Twilight**

Note: Excessive swearing in this chapter.

* * *

><p>~Chapter 13~<p>

Once outside of Moria, I collapsed on the ground, thoroughly stunned. I had only been thoroughly stunned twice before; once, when Halsburg won first place even though we SO beat them. The other time was when Alan's best friend, Joey, showed up at the marching band Halloween party dressed as a slutty Dora.

Imagine a 6' 3" African-American guy wearing a slutty pink shirt and purple shirt, with a wig and makeup and a girly backpack, complete with high heels and nylons.

Yeah. Sorry for that image.

Anyway, so this beat those times. In my mind, all I could see was Gandalf letting go of the ledge and falling down to the depths of Moria. Did this happen in the movies? I strained my mind to bring up hazy images from when I was nine years old. All I could remember was Gandalf leading some sort of army...in the second or third movie.

Shit. I changed the bloody timeline. Because I was there, Gandalf fell to his bleepin' death. AND IT'S MY BLOODY FAULT.

"Legolas! Get them up!" Aragorn commanded.

"Give them a moment, for pity's sake!" Boromir cried, struggling to keep his emotions in check. I looked up dully, my mind screaming swear words that would have made my mother's ears shrivel up and Alan and Joey applaud me heartily. An overwhelming feeling of guilt coursed through me, and I gripped my recorder (which magically found its way into my hands), seeking comfort from its plastic-y-ness.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs!" Aragorn argued. "We must reach the woods of Lothlorien. Come, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, get them up!" I watched Aragorn walk over to a tearful Sam, before my vision was blocked by Whelp.

"Come, Sammy. We must go," Legolas said softly.

Without saying a word, I tucked my recorder back in my boot and climbed to my feet, ignoring Legolas's hand. Walking over to Boromir, I grabbed my jar of dirt back out of his pack, and walked away, cradling it.

My jar of dirt.

~..*..~

A while later, we were walking through dense woods. I stayed close to the hobbits, feeling the slightest bit unnerved at how old and close the trees felt. Legolas was looking as chipper as he could (with Gandalf an' all) at the sight of the trees, and looked as though he wished to climb them. Bloody tree squirrel.

Wait.

SQUIRREL! LEGOLAS IS NOW A SQUIRREL!

I was slightly cheered up by that thought before an image of Gandalf sent my mind back to the dark depths of depression.

I need pocky.

"Stay close, young hobbits and Sammy," Gimli rumbled to us, holding Frodo's arm. "They say there's a great sorceress who lives in these woods. An Elf-Witch of terrible power! All who look upon her fall under her spell and are never seen again!"

Yawn.

Frodo looked right jumpy over there, and I didn't blame him. Sam seemed to notice it too. "Mr. Frodo?" he asked softly.

"Well!" Gimli snorted. "This is one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily! I have the eyes of a hawk, and the ears of a fox!" The next second, he had two arrows pointed in his face.

I was already exhausted and extremely jittery, so I still claim to this day that I have no control over my actions at this point. A tall figure appeared in front of us, saying in a rather smug manner, "The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark."

As soon as I caught sight of him, my brain seemed to freeze. "HOLY SHIT!" I screamed, speaking for the first time since Moria. "IT'S ONE OF THOSE MOTHERF*CKING TWILIGHT VAMPIRES!" I ran forward, my knee poised to strike for the crown jewels. Luckily for the elf - yes, they were elves, not fake vamps - Aragorn managed to grab me and pin my arms to my sides, before passing me off to Boromir, glaring at me with eyes that said _You __will __pay __for __that_.

The lead elf looked beyond startled at that, but decided to go with the flow. "Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion."

"Govannas vin gwennen le, Haldir o Lorien," Legolas replied, seemingly princely in that moment. While Haldir greeted Aragorn in the same language, Gimli spoke what was on my mind.

"So much for the legendary courtesy of the Elves! Speak words we can all understand!"

"Yeah!" I added defiantly, exhausted and cranky and dying for pocky. "Just cause I took Spanish for four years doesn't mean that I can understand a bleepin' word that you're-" Boromir decided it was a good time to put a hand over my mouth. I managed to throw it off, glaring at Child.

The elf dude's eyes flickered to me before settling on Gimli. "We have not had dealings with dwarves since the Dark Days."

"And you know what this dwarf says to that?" Gimli snapped. "Ishkhaqwi ai durungul!"

"Yeah, you tell 'em, Gimli!" I muttered.

Aragorn, however, looked decidedly pissed off. He grabbed Gimli's shoulder, hissing, "_That _was not so courteous."

Haldir looked at me. "You have a woman in your company."

I furiously rounded on him. "Oh, so we have _another _sexist child to deal with! Look, buddy, I just f*cken faced off against a gazillion orcs and I kicked their dirty little asses right back to their motherf-"

Boromir once again slapped a hand over my mouth, hissing, "Be silent!" Once again, I threw it off, glaring daggers.

Haldir studied me for another second before looking at Sam and Frodo. His eyes rested on the curly haired hobbit, before turning back to Aragorn. "You bring great evil with you. You shall go no further."

Next thing I know, I found myself in one of their tree platform thingys. I dangled my feet over the edge, muttering to myself under my breath. I took my drumsticks out of my pocket and drummed angrily against my thigh, pissed off at the world.

Gandalf was dead.

Who's fault was it because who came here and changed the timeline?

DING DING DING.

I heard Child saying soft words of encouragement to Frodo, but I didn't listen. I was too busy getting caught up in playing the snare drum's part of the cadence - what I could remember, anyway. The music that I had played in marching band seemed to be a hazy memory to me, now.

I looked up as Haldir came to stand in front of the Fellowship. "You will follow me."

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><p>AN

Yay, new chapter! xD The idea of the whole mofo twilight vampire popped into my head while I was brushing my teeth, causing me to choke on toothbrush. Yeah, go me xD It's okay, though, because of March 27, 2012, I have declared myself officially insane. I told people that at school today, and every single one of them - including my Spanish teacher! - said something along the lines of, "It took you that long to figure that out?"

Anywhoo, review and you get a jar of dirt! :D

~Eva Sirico~


	14. Son of a Nutcracker!

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the Hobbit, Pirates of the Caribbean, Wonder Woman, Harry Potter, Leap Year, The Muppets, Peter Pan, Cinderella, Elf. Long disclaimer much? xD**

* * *

><p>~Chapter 14~<p>

Walking, walking, walking. Is that ALL that anyone ever does in this place? Seriously, since I came here, I swear that I have done more walking over the past three months than the whole year!

No, that was a lie, but it felt good to complain.

From in front of me, the Haldir elf-dude-guy-thing stopped and looked at a rise of trees. "Caras Galadhon!" he said reverently. "The heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of the Light."

"Yawn," I muttered sourly as we all began walking down to the trees.

Haldir cast me a stern glance through those icy eyes of his. "You would be more respectful if you knew the power that the Lady of Light possesses," he said through gritted teeth.

"What, so she's the Wonder Woman of this place?" I snapped back. "Does she go around dressed in tights and mini-skirts and rides around in an invisible-"

Aragorn grabbed my shoulder. "Sammy, I think it would be wise if you were silent," he hissed softly. "They are granting us passage into their lands and food and shelter. Do not take these gifts so lightly."

I huffed, but stayed silent, fuming towards my jar of dirt. I wanted a hot bath and a nice, soft bed to sleep in. I was tired, cranky, and in desperate need of chocolate, peanut butter, and Nutella, or even a combination of the three.

Stupid Tolkien and his sugar-free world.

Stupid Gandalf for thinking that he was another Glorfindel and deciding to fight the Balrog.

Stupid J.K. Rowling. She killed off Dobby. "WHYYY CRUEL WORLD?" I wailed, but quieted at Aragorn's fierce glare.

I wanted pocky. And ice cream. And peanut butter. And chocolate. And nutella. And cheese. And cupcakes. And pudding. Chocolate pudding. And doughnuts. And muffins. And cookies. Lots of cookies. Oh! And cake! And devil dogs! Mmm and Whoopie Pies! All kinds of Whoopie Pies; I'm talking about the regular, the peanut butter, the pumpkin, and the chocolate ones! Yum.

Those non-Mainers/New Englanders. Don't know what they're missing. I shed tears for you. To show that I was serious, I wiped away a tear that fell down my cheek.

Merry laid a hand on my arm (that's all he could reach). "Gandalf was a good friend to us all," he said softly to me.

"I was actually thinking about those poor people that have to live without whoopie pies," I said thickly, through tears, "but I miss Gandalf too." I gasped. "Wait, but aren't they selling whoopie pies across America now?" I pondered that for a moment. "Then, yes, these tears are for Gandalf."

A little while later - no, I lie. A lot while later - no, wait, I can see my English cringing in my head. _Some__time__later_we started going up some steps. A lot of steps. "I need a thesaurus like the woman from Leap Year on that new Muppets movie," I muttered under my breath. Calling up a mental image of one of my band geek friends, who also doubled as an obsessive writer, I began to run through synonyms.

"Acres. Galore. Gobs. Legion. Legions. Loads. Many. Oodles." I laughed suddenly. "Oodles. Oodles of noodles!" Cue chuckles.

Haldir the elf cast me that stern look, which I was beginning to interpret as a what-the-truck look. All well. "Is it much farther?" I grumbled just as we finished walking up the oodles of stairs and onto a platform. "Never mind."

Haldir stepped to the side as a glowing couple descended down the stairs from underneath the archway. They were elves - surprise, surprise - but they must be pretty important elves as they way that Haldir was looking at them.

The lady, who I am guessing to be Galadriel, fixed her gaze on Frodo, while the other dude whose name I didn't know started to speak. "The Enemy knows you have entered here. What hope you had for secrecy is now gone." He surveyed us again. "Nine there are here, but yet ten set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him. I can no longer see him from afar."

Oh. Well. This is awkward. I rubbed the back of my neck, not knowing what to say. A mental image of Gandalf falling after Morry entered my mind and I winced. Luckily, Galadriel seemed to guess what happened.

"Gandalf the Grey did not pass the borders of this land. He has fallen into shadow." Shadow...shadow and flame...my obsessive writer friend Sydney would love that description. Stupid Morry.

"He was taken by both Shadow and Flame-" HA! I BEAT YOU TO THAT DESCRIPTION, WHELP! "-A Balrog of Morgoth!" Piccolo said heavily, bitterness lacing his tone. "For we went needlessly into the net of Moria." I saw Gimli bow his head sadly and I inched my way over to him.

"Here; you can hold my jar of dirt to make you feel better," I whispered to him, offering it. After casting me a strange look, the dwarf hesitantly accepted it. I patted his shoulder in sympathy and listened to the conversation again.

"What now becomes of this Fellowship? Without Gandalf, all hope is lost," the elf-dude said solemnly.

"The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fall to the ruin of all." Her eyes met mine, and I had a freaky moment. I heard her voice - _inside __my __head__! _

_Stay __behind__, __for __I __wish __to __speak __with __you__._ I yelped, jumping in the air out of shock, and the elf-dude paused his speech to stare at me, as did everyone else. I blushed. "Sorry. Thought I saw an evil pink hippo." I bowed my head, still blushing, and gripped my recorder.

After a pause, the elf-dude continued, and the Fellowship was led away by other elves. I stayed behind, standing around awkwardly. My hobbit minions hesitated when they saw me not moving, but I waved them on.

Galadriel glided over to me. Her blue eyes were intense and it felt as though she could see every aspect of me, even parts that I didn't know myself. I squirmed under her stare. "Follow me," she murmured to me softly, and I followed her out of the platform, resisting the urge to sing _Follow __the __Leader_.

Lady Galadriel led me down some steps and to a sort of birdbath. "I know that you are weary from your journey, and from the loss of Gandalf," she said softly, "but this cannot wait."

"I need to take a bath?" I asked slowly, confused. What was so important about some birdbath? Was she going to go all Cinderella and call forth birds and then-

Before my mind ramblings could continue, Galadriel nodded me forward. "Look into the mirror. I do not know what you will see, but look upon it you must."

"Okayy..." I said slowly, and stepped up to the birdbath. The water inside of it was clear and had an almost icy sheen to it. All I could see was the bottom of the basin. Before I could question Galadriel about it, the birdbath seemed to ripple, and an image appeared in the bottom. I gasped, but felt myself drawn to it.

_"__The __judges __are __ready__," __the __announcer __boomed __over __the __microphone__. "__The __drum __majors__, __Amelia __Smith __and __Jay __Mayor__, __is __the __band __ready__?" __I __watched __in __shock __as __Jay __and __Amelia __did __their __salute __in __sync__, __and __the __audience __cheered__. "__Sakom __High __School__, __you __may __enter __the __field __for __evaluation__!"_

_This __was__...__finals__. __For __marching __band__. __And __there __I __was__! __Standing __at __attention __in __the __pit__, __in __front __of __the __vibes__. __Anthony __was __at __the __xylophone __behind __me__, __while __James __was __waiting __on __the __timpani__. __Jordan __was __at __the __base __drum __and __cymbals__. __I __looked __around __and __saw __a __familiar __face __standing __at __attention __in __the __battery__. __Joey__, __with __all __his __ 6' 3" __glory__, __with __the __tenors __strapped __to __him__. __I __searched __around __some __more__, __noticing __Sydney __standing __with __the __trumpets__, __and __rested __on __a __familiar __face __with __the __saxophones__._

_Alan__._

_My __heart __gave __a __clench__, __and __I __missed __Amelia __counting __off__. __I __dragged __my __gaze __away __from __my __twin__'__s __face __and __towards __where __I __was __playing __on __the __vibes__. __I __felt __a __bolt __of __homesickness __at __the __familiar __tune __swelling __through __the __field__, __as __I __looked __around __at __all __the __recognizable __faces __of __my __friends __and __band__-__family__. _

_As __Connor__, __a __senior__, __began __his __trumpet __solo__, __I __snapped __my __gaze __back __to __me __at __the __pit__. __I __watched __myself __be __ninja __around __the __marimba__, __but __trip __on __the __gong __stand__. __Frozen __in __mute __horror__, __I __saw __myself __crash __my __head __on __the __cymbal __and __fall __to __the __ground __in __a __motionless __heap__._

_Was __that__..._blood?

_Amelia __frantically __waved __her __hands __to __stop__, __while __Anthony __rushed __forward __and __crouched __down __next __to __me__. __Mr__. __Zach __raced __forward __from __the __stands__, __as __well __as __a __ton __of __other __adults__. __All __around __the __band __and __the __audience__, __shocked __murmurs __and __whispers __spread __like __wildfire __as __everyone __watched __in __horror__._

_A __strangled __cry __snapped __my __gaze __back __to __the __field__. "__SAMMY__! __NO__!" __My __heart __breaking__, __I __watched __Alan __break __ranks __and __race __to __where __I __was __surrounded __by __adults__. __Mr__. __Zach __tried __to __hold __him __back __but __Alan __was __flipping __out __at __him__, __demanding __to __see __me__, __and __was __only __calmed __when __he __was __led __away __by __Joey__._

_Time __seemed __to __blur __as __the __ambulance __arrived __and __loaded __me __into __the __back__, __with __Alan __climbing __in __as __well __as __Mr__. __Zach__. __The __rest __of __our __show __was __canceled__._

I was brought out of the vision with a gasp. My gaze snapped up to Galadriel, who was watching me with a flicker of sadness in her eyes.

I gulped. "Please tell me that was only reality T.V., where nothing is actually real."

From the look on Galadriel's face, I knew the answer to my question.

Son of a nutcracker.

* * *

><p>AN

Hey hey hey! It's been a while, huh? Lo siento, pero my life has been crazy! Jazz band has officially ended, and we just had our spring band concert. But, yay! Rejoice! April vacation at last! ^.^ It reached 80 today here in Maine, so happy! It's been pretty cold for the past couple of weeks. It felt weird to wear shorts and a tank top today xD

I digress! You like? You love? Then please revi-HOLY CHEDDAR, THERE'S ALMOST 100 REVIEWS! o.O You guys are seriously wicked amazing! I LOVE YOU ALL! To show my love, here's a free miniature ninja alpaca - travel size! :D

~Eva Sirico~

* * *

><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

...your fingers are frozen to your instrument.


	15. Squirrel?

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, Pirates of the Caribbean, Mulan**

* * *

><p>~Chapter 15~<p>

_Finally__. _A bath. Warm clothes. A bed! Sighing in contentment, I stretched out on the soft mattress, closing my eyes. Ha. Hahahaha! I get a warm bed and room all to myself, while the others have to endure!

Speaking of which... I haven't seen them since the meeting with the Lady of Light and the Lord dude person. One of the elves here told me his name. Kell-is-born or something like that. All well. Maybe I'd go annoy Boromir. That always cheered me up.

Swinging my feet over the edge of my bed, I accidentally knocked over my boot. My recorder fell out of my boot, rolling across the floor. A grin touched my face as I picked it up, slowly turning it over and examining it. Considering our journey, it was relatively unharmed. It was very dirty, yes, but there were no dents or chips in the plastic.

Win.

Walking over to a pitcher full of water, I tried to delicately sprinkle water over it, like they do it the movies.

Keyword: Tried.

Water gushed out of the pitcher, splattering all over the place, and soaking me to the bone. "HOLY CHEDDAR!" I yelped in alarm, springing back. The pitcher slipped out of my hands, landing on the floor, water spraying in every direction. My foot slipped on the now-wet floor, and with a shriek I went crashing to the floor.

The door opened, and a very confused Haldir stood there, taking in the sight of me drenched and sprawled out ungracefully on the floor. "Is everything under control, milady?" he asked me with one of his eyebrows raised.

I struggled to my feet. "Peachy! Absolutely peachy! Why'd you ask?"

The eyebrow crept higher on his face. "If you insist."

I stared at the eyebrow, intrigued. "You remind me of Elrond."

Haldir blinked, taken aback. "In what way, milady?"

My hands gesturing, I explained myself to the best of my ability. "It's all just like, 'invasion of the eyebrows' with you too! Seriously I swear those things have a mind of their own!"

A muscle jumped in his cheek. "If that is all you need, I will be on my way," Haldir replied stiffly and turned to leave.

"Wait!" I yelped as I slipped on the water again and tumbled to the floor. Haldir turned around in surprise to see me sprawled out on the floor - _again__._

A smirk graced his face. "You seem to be a very clumsy being."

"Oh, shut it," I muttered, scowling as I struggled to lift myself up again. "Can you please bring me to the Fellowship? I'm bored and I want to annoy someone. Like Boromir. Or Gimli. But Gimli might decide to stick his axe in me. Whelp will just be like I'm-pretending-to-be-courteous-to-you-but-I-really-want-to-kill-you to me, and Aragorn will give me that stupid condescending look that he gets on his face, the hobbits are more of my minions, and Gandalf-" I gulped, and stopped.

Haldir was staring at me, and I was pretty positive that he didn't understand a word that I just said. "I will take you to your companions, if you wish it," he said slowly.

I brightened. "Or, I could just annoy you! How about it!"

Haldir stiffly turned around again. "Follow me. The Fellowship is currently resting."

I pouted as I stuffed my recorder into my boot, grabbing my drumsticks. "You're no fun."

After a couple of awkward minutes (I chatted endlessly about everything from rubber ducks to cheese and Haldir did his best to ignore me, poor chap) we reached the Fellowship. They all looked refreshed and much more rested then they did when we first reached Lothlorien. I bounded forward cheerfully. "Hey, hey, hey! Miss me?"

Everyone looked up, and Pippin and Merry's eyes brightened. "Sammy! Where'd you go?" Pippin asked me, fiddling with his pipe.

"Looking in random birdbaths and hanging out. Same as you. Except you aren't looking in freaky see-the-future/past birdbaths." I considered this for a moment, then my eyes lit up as I remembered something.

I turned around swiftly at pointed my drumstick (that magically appeared in my hand) at Legolas. "SQUIRREL!"

Silence.

"...Pardon?" Squirrel asked slowly, blinking in confusion at the drumstick in his face.

"You're a squirrel! You like trees so much. I really miss squirrels. And it's just really fun to say. Squirrel. Squirrel. Squiirrrrreelll." I laughed while everyone exchanged looks.

I blinked, looking around. "Hey! Where'd Haldir go? I was going to annoy him!"

"He had duties to attend to," Aragorn said carefully, but I shrugged it off.

"Eh, all well. I came here to annoy Boromir anywhere." Skipping over to said person, I stared up at him for a second before poking him. He blinked.

I poked him again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And ag-

"That's enough, Lady Sammy," he said, irritation present in his eyes. I smacked him.

"No Lady! It's just Sammy!"

He grabbed my hand and squeezed, hard. I gasped in surprise, and blinked, my eyes wide. "You'd be wise to leave me alone," he hissed, letting go.

I backed away in shock. "Geez, who spit in your bean curd? What happened to the I'm-annoyed-at-you-but-I'll-just-fight-verbally-with-you Boromir?"

"We're all tired, Sammy," Aragorn told me, shooting a hard look at Boromir. "Perhaps we should turn in for the night."

"Okie-dokie. See ya!" I started skipping towards the edge of the camp, but stopped and turned back. "On second thought, I'll just sleep here!"

Merry tilted his head. "Don't you have your own room?"

I rubbed the back of my head, letting out a nervous giggle. "Well, I kinda...forgot where it is? It's okay, though! I have my drumsticks and recorder! Ready for anything!" I plopped down in the nearest bed and rolled over. Around me, the rest of the Fellowship began to turn in as well. I looked over to see Frodo and Sam already asleep, the dears.

I turned my gaze back towards the sky. After I was sure everyone was asleep, I whispered, "Alan...I miss you." Turning over, I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>AN

*rises dramatically from random coffin that happens to be there* I'M ALIVVEEE. I know, I know, it's been like a month since I've updated. Lots of stuff going on in my personal life, and I kind've become obsessed with the Batman movies (the ones with Christopher Nolan in them) :P. Even started writing a fic (updated every two days, mostly because I have a lot written lol). If ya like those movies, you should check it out!

WOW! HOLY CHEDDAR, WE'VE HIT OVER 100 REVIEWS! *throws confetti and hands out random cookies* You guys are AMAZING! LOVE YOU ALL! *hugs*

Hopefully there not be as long of a wait! I'll try to put the next chapter up soon! ^.^

Until next time~

~Eva Sirico~

* * *

><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

...you have a band shirt for every day of the week.


	16. Of Green Dye and Angry Children

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, the Hobbit, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Karate Kid, Pacman**

* * *

><p>~Chapter 16~<p>

"_Morning __in __Paris__, __the __city __awakes__ / __To __the __Bells __of __Notre __Dame__," _I paused in my song. "Or, at least, when the sun rises."

The sun had uncomfortably shone in my face when I had turned over in my sleep, waking me up. Pippin looked at me. "Who sings that song?"

"A gypsy king." I stretched. "I'm bored. When's breakfast?"

The hobbits immediately perked up at the thought of breakfast. At that precise moment, an elf descended from the steps and walked over to us awake peeps. "If you are hungry, please, follow me," she said softly.

"Lady, you are DA BEST." My mouth watering, I followed her up the steps...then more steps...then across the landing...then down some steps...and finally to a sort of dining area!

My minions and I gathered around the food. Boromir was already there, brooding into a goblet. I was stuffing myself on grapes and other stuff while observing Child. He seemed exhausted; dark circles were prominent under his eyes and his whole demeanor suggested that he was hopeless.

He needed to be cheered up.

Considering, I glanced around, pondering. "Such a pretty green," I said out loud absentmindedly, looking at the flowers growing, before an idea popped into my head.

"MINIONS! GATHER!" Merry and Pippin clustered around me in confusion, while Sam sent me a confused look but didn't move. Frodo was still asleep. He needs it, poor chap.

After a barrage of whispering, my minions were on board. After another twenty minutes of breakfast, I managed to drag them away and started searching for a familiar face. After wandering around hopelessly, we soon saw a familiar elf.

"HALDIR-GRASSHOPPER! COME HITHER!" Said elf turned around in surprise, and I swear a flicker of annoyance and resignation crossed his face when he saw me.

"What is it, Sammy?"

"Patience, young grasshopper," I replied, adopting the manner of a wise kung-fu master. An eyebrow of Haldir's twitched.

"INVASION OF THE EYEBROW!" I screamed, pointing, and proceeded to hide behind Pippin. Haldir ground his teeth and turned to leave. "Waaaait," I whined, and he paused, his posture stiff.

"Do you know where we can find the market-place-place?" I asked hopefully.

"Down those steps," Haldir directed, then started quickly walking off.

Merry glanced up at me with an eyebrow raised, but I only sniffed. "Fine. Be like that. Stupid Grasshopper." The three of us made our way down the steps and found the place bustling - well, as dignified as the word 'bustling' can be - with elves. The three of us wound our way around different peeps until we came to what I was looking for.

I bounded up to the dye seller. "Hiya! My name's Sammy! Number FE3*. What'cha got for dye?"

The elf blinked, but gestured to his wares. I examined them until I found the green one I wanted. "Could this, say, dye someone's hair for a long period of time?" I asked, trying to be subtle (and failing miserably).

The elf blinked again. "Dye hair? My lady, why would you want to do that?"

"Eh, ask no questions, I'll tell you no lies." The elf blinked yet again. I'm naming him Blinky.

Blinky glanced down at the dye. "That dye will last for months. If you perchance get it on hair, or skin, it would not wash out for a month at the least." Blinky was starting to look suspicious. "Why would you want to know?"

"No reason," I replied airily. "Can I have it?"

"Yes, take it," Blinky replied, fed up with us.

Happily, I took the free dye and skipped off elsewhere to annoy someone else, with my evil minions in tow. Laughing, we skipped back to the camp. "Where's Boromir?" I called as we entered.

Whelp looked up. "I believe he is bathing," he replied. "You will want to wait for him to return."

I considered for a moment, then brightened. "BRILLIANT! THANKS, WHELP!" Legolas huffed and looked away. Aragorn shot me a suspicious look, but he was too busy looking at a map of some sort to scold me. Gimli was nowhere in sight, and neither were Sam and Frodo.

Perfect.

"Merry, Pippin!" I whispered, handing Merry (the more reliable of the two) the dye. "You know what to do."

They scampered off, identical grins of mischief plastered on their face. Humming nonchalantly I settled myself down to Aragorn and started to poke him. Aragorn was very annoyed by the time the hobbits came back laughing hysterically.

"Mission...completed!" Merry choked out before joining Pippin on the ground laughing.

I jumped in the air, pumping my fist. "YESSS!"

"Sammy, what did you do now?" Aragorn asked wearily. At that moment, a roar of anger came from the direction of the baths. A moment later Boromir came bursting through the underbrush, his clothes soaking and his hair...

Yes. We turned his hair bright green.

And now I had to deal with a very bleeped-off Boromir.

Help.

* * *

><p>AN

Muhahahaha, poor Boromir! Not! xD

*FE3 - Front Ensemble 3. Beginning of marching band camp, we get numbers to use for the field instructor to help us with the marching.

Okay, you guys are seriously the BEST! I LOVE YOU ALL!

My mom just said this quote from this movie and I just died. Anyone remember what movie this is from?

"I LOVE YOU METRO-MAN!"

"And I love YOU, random citizen!"

I just died again. xD

So yeah! Review and you get a - OMG SQUIRREL!


	17. Sense of Humor? Le Gasp!

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, Karate Kid, that new Muppet Movie, Star Wars, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone**

* * *

><p>~Chapter 17~<p>

I slowly backed away from the bleeped-off Boromir. "I'm going this way..."

Boromir caught sight of me. "SAMMY! YOU WERE BEHIND THIS, WERE YOU NOT?"

"INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY!" I yelled before making a break for it. All that training in marching band and our hiking for months had prepared me for this moment. I was ready.

To run for my sorry life.

I didn't know if Boromir was chasing after me, but I seriously did not want to find out. I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and then ran some more.

Up ahead of me, a familiar elf was walking _calmly_ along the path. Not for much longer *maniacal laugh maniacal laugh*.

"HALDIR-GRASSHOPPER! HELP!" I wailed as I caught up with the startled elf and proceeded to hide behind him.

"Help you from wha-" Haldir was cut off as Boromir burst from the path, looking decidedly bleeped-off. "Oh," I swear I heard Haldir murmur under his breath, his eyes widening even more when he saw Boromir's bright green hair.

"Sammy, I swear when I get my hands on you-" Boromir began, but I cut him off.

"VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER, YOUNG PADAWAN!" I shrieked, still clinging to Haldir. I glanced up to him, and to my astonishment I saw his lips twitching.

Haldir-Grasshopper was fighting back a smile. Who wouldda thunk it?

"I apologize for anything that Lady Sammy has done against you, Lord Boromir, and I take full responsibility for her actions," Haldir said smoothly, his eyes twinkling.

Boromir and I stared at him with shock. Wait - he was actually helping me out? And he actually has a _sense __of __humor_?

Whoa, hey, what's going on here?

Boromir blinked again, but backed off, shooting death glares at me. "I need to know; how long with the dye last?"

"The dye-seller said at least a month," I piped up from behind my grasshopper shield. Boromir's eyes narrowed in anger, and with an _eep__!_ I popped back behind Haldir.

"I need to re-dye my hair back," Boromir said, gritting his teeth.

"That is not an option," Haldir interjected smoothly. "Too much dye would destroy your hair. It is a better option to wait it out."

Boromir stared at him, jaw agape. I decided to speak again. "I just wanted to cheer you up! You looked so gloomy all the time!" I blinked. "HA! Used a vocab. word in a sentence. BEAT THAT, SNOTTY ENGLISH TEACHER!"

"Very well," Boromir hissed out. Turning away stiffly, he made his way back to camp. I swear to this day that there was an amused gleam in his eyes, though. Old Boromir-child came through for a moment.

"I miss the old Boromir," I murmured as he disappeared.

Haldir looked down at me. "When did he start to change, Sammy?"

"After Gandalf's death. It changed everyone, though." I deflated, remembering his fall. NO! STAY CHEERFUL, my inner voice called Bacon screamed at me.

"I see." Haldir turned around to face me fully, his eyebrow going all invasion of the eyebrow again. "Pray tell, how would dying Lord Boromir's hair cheer him up?"

I shrugged. "Green is a happy color." Haldir waited for me to elaborate, but when I didn't, shook his head. A small laugh escaped him.

I blinked. "HOLY CHEDDAR! You _do _have a sense of humor! And I brought it out! WIN!" I leaped in the air, pumping a fist.

Haldir shook his head, amused. Before he could speak, Aragorn rounded the corner. I cringed behind Haldir again. Aragorn looked at the two of us, and seemed to change his mind. "We are leaving tomorrow morning," he told me. "I believe that this day should be spent preparing for the journey ahead."

"Very well," I replied, modeling my voice after the goblin-dude in the first Harry Potter movie. "You two best change in your robes," I continued in Hermione's voice. "I expect we'll be arriving soon." I waved, flouncing off as the two of them glanced at each other, confused.

* * *

><p>AN

Oh my gatos! I apologize at the long wait, young Padawans. Finals, ya know. Bleh. Also, I've been working furiously at Camp NaNoWriMo. My novel's called Of Top Hats and Thieves ^.^ Now that summer vacation  
>(also known as FREEDOM!) is here, I'll be able to update at least once a week! Rejoice! :D<p>

BACON AND COOKIE AWARDS GO TO:

L.L. Pottle

ProudMudblood42

LOTR Geek

D. L. Sauron - AlmightLOTRNerd

Alastair Jacknife

anon

Yayyy for guessing the quote is from Megamind! :D That line XD

OMIGATOS! So I saw a commercial for Lego LOTR for the Mines of Moria, and then when they were showing off the cave troll, the announcer was all just like, Oh, no! They have a cave troll! Except he said it really monotone...and I remembered the movie...and I died. I felt the need to tel you all that xD

Until next time~!

Eva Sirico

* * *

><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

...you named your instrument, and refer to said instrument by said name.


	18. That's My Recorder!

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, Pirates of the Caribbean, Karate Kid, Row Your Boat**

* * *

><p>~Chapter 18~<p>

"Never before have we clad strangers in our garb," Kell-is-born announced as Haldir finished pinning my green cloak together before stepping back.

"Gracias," I whispered, beaming at him. He returned the smile slightly before turning his attention back to Kell-is-born.

"May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes," he continued.

I watched as Galadriel began to hand out gifts to everyone. I grew excited. We already passed Christmas on Earth, didn't we... Yayy! Presents! As she reached me, she smiled at the excitement in my mind. "My gift for you, Samantha Williams-" NOT THE DREADED FULL NAME! "-is this sword. It has been made for you during your stay, under the direction of Aragorn. Use it well." She handed me a beautiful sword decorated with vines and leaves. More of that elfy-stuff.

I beamed at her and gave her a hug (look of surprise was PRICELESS!). "Thank you!" I grinned.

She nodded then moved on to the hobbits while I examined my sword in admiration. Boromir next to me leaned over. "Perhaps you could simply use your 'drum sticks' or 'recorder' as a weapon," he whispered in good humor. "We already revere them as such."

I stared at him in shock. "Did you just make a joke?" I blinked and looked at Whelp, who was watching with curious eyes. "You hear that? Old Boromir-child just made a joke!" I tackled him with a hug. "Glad you're back!"

As we were packing the boats, Legolas held up a piece of bread. "Lembas! Elvish way-bread!" he exclaimed. "One bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man." Whelp took a bite to prove it and walked away.

"Yay. Bread," I muttered sarcastically, and turned away but froze as I heard the hobbit's conversation.

"How many did you eat?" Merry hissed to Pippin.

Pippin burped. "Four."

I laughed, turning away from the hobbits. Oh good golly gee their stomachs were big! Haldir caught my eye. He was currently looking around, but I hurried up to him. "Grasshopper!"

He acknowledged me with a nod. "Sammy."

"Gonna miss me?" I asked, grinning at him. Oh, I was going to miss annoying him.

His eyebrow did the invasion thing. "In a way."

"Yeah yeah, I'll miss ya too." I gave him a hug and skipped away before he could react. Chuckling to myself, I plopped down in Gimli and Whelp's boat as we began to take off. Turning around, I stared at the bank with everyone gathered around it.

Gimli shifted in his seat. "I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest. Haugh, henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me."

"What was it?" Piccolo asked curiously.

"I asked for a hair from her head. She gave me three."

"Creepy much?" I asked before receiving a scowl from said dwarf. Sighing with boredom (they refused to let me touch the oars - I wonder why?) I took my recorder out of my boot and fingered it. Suddenly, a thought popped into my head, and I quickly brought my recorder up.

The squeaky notes of Row Your Boat filled the air. Legolas jumped about a mile and Gimli started in surprise. Aragorn peered around until he saw me playing on my recorder. A look of exasperation filled his visage. "Sammy, put that thing away."

"NO!" Row row row your boat, gently down the stream.

"Sammy, now!"

"NO!" Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

"Sammy!" Boromir growled. Uh oh. It's New Boromir. "I will turn this boat around!"

"NO!" Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream...

A very fed-up Gimli grabbed my recorder from me and tossed it in the river. "MY RECORDER!"

Five minutes later, sopping wet, I clutched my recorder. Whelp had kindly put a blanket around my shoulders, but I was still angry at the world and had retreated into my Corner of Woe. "I want bacon," I muttered sourly.

"I'll make some later, Miss Sammy," Sam called to me from Boromir-child's boat.

I perked up at that. "Sammy 2, you're a lifesaver!" Sam blinked at the new name but went along with it.

"Technically, he would be Sammy 1 because he is older than you," Legolas reasoned from behind me.

"Shut it, Whelp!"

"Do not call me whelp!" Legolas said angrily.

"I'll call you whelp if I want to call you whelp!...Piccolo."

"Do not call me that either!"

"Fairy princess."

"Sammy..."

"Squirrel!"

"This is going to be a very long trip," Gimli muttered sourly.

* * *

><p>AN

Yay, an update! Happy July, everybody! :)

The last part of this chapter popped into my head and I died. Hope you all enjoyed it! But whilst writing this, I have discovered that I WANT BACON. And there's none left... *cries*

Anywhooo, you all are the best! *throw out free bacon* bacon bacon bacon bacon...

Review and you get BACON.

~Eva Sirico~


	19. Stop! In the Name of Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club, Pirates of the Caribbean, Stop in the Name of Love**

* * *

><p>~Chapter 19~<p>

"Have some food, Mr. Frodo," Sam encouraged to a worried-looking Frodo-minion.

"Don't mind if I do," I interjected cheerfully, grabbing some bacon.

Sam smacked my hand. "The bacon is for Mister Frodo!"

"Geez, I just wanted some bacon," I said, hurt. Grumbling, I retreated to my little corner of woe, munching on my bacon. "All I need is to grow mushrooms and build a hamster home," I muttered under my breath sourly.

"Sammy, stop that," Whelp said in exasperation.

"Ah, go play a french horn! Or take a flying leap! Go fly a kite! Go play in traffic!" I perked up. "Oh! I got one! Go play a french horn attached to a kite while taking a flying leap in traffic! HA!" Triumphantly, I turned my back and ignored his bemused expression.

Later, I was curled in my bedroll, trying to get some beauty rest. Seriously, what is with that term? I don't know about the rest of the peeps, but I don't come out looking all beautiful like after I sleep. I mean, you should take a look at the haystack that tries to pass itself off as my hair!

"Would you guys shut up already?" I growled to Child and Aragorn, who were arguing nearby. "I'm trying to dissect the term 'beauty sleep', and y'all are arguing about which road we're taking! We're not going to Minas Tirith, so shut up already!" I rolled over and shut my eyes, ignoring the steely silence in the wake.

It's probably the loss of chocolate that makes me so irritable.

The next day, I was busy making a hamster home out of sticks and leaves and moss in the boat, when we Aragorn's voice made me look up. "Frodo, the Argonath! Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old. My kin."

I looked up at the statues. "Oh mi gatos!" I held out my arm, like the statues were doing. "STOP! IN THE NAAAME OF LOOOVE!"

Legolas tugged me back down into my seat. "Hush, Sammy."

"Go play a french horn attached to a kite while taking a flying leap in traffic!" I snapped back, continuing on my hamster home.

Just as we reached a waterfall, we pulled over to the shore and started to make camp. "We cross the lake at nightfall," Aragorn announced. "Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north."

"To Mordor we go," I sang cheerfully, moving my hamster home to the shore.

"Oh, yes?" Gimli growled. "It's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks! And after that, it gets even better!"

Beside me, Pippin looked up in alarm while I whistled. "Challenge accepted."

"Festering, stinking marshlands, as far as the eye can see," Gimli finished.

"Beautiful picture in my head," I commented wryly, settling myself down comfortably. While the children continued to squabble and groan about our situation, I took out my recorder and started playing some pep band songs that we used to play at football games and homecoming. I had started on the first few bars of Smoke on the Water, when my recorder was taken away.

"Hey!" I protested, leaping up and trying to grab the recorder from Whelp's hands.

"Promise you will not play it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I promise, Piccolo! Just give it back!" I whined.

"Very well." He handed me the recorder back and I stuffed it in my boot. Grumbling, I took my drumsticks out and starting playing Eight on a Hand.

"Where's Frodo?" Merry asked in alarm, holding a bundle of firewood in his arms. Everyone looked up, and started searching around for him. My eyes fell on Boromir-child's shield, which lay abandoned. Boromir was gone, as well.

"Oh, HELL to the NO!" I growled. New Boromir-Child was NOT going to go all evil on Frodo-minion! Grabbing my sword, I took off blindly into the woods, with Merry and Pippin at my heels. No way was Frodo going to get hurt. I took an oath, for the love of cheddar!

Not on my watch. No sir.

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><p>AN

Sorry for the delay, peeps! I've been busy this month xP Turned 16, yayy!

Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. Next one should be exciting, though! And sshh, I tell you secret: If all goes well, I might have the next one up tomorrow.

Has anyone started marching band camp yet? I have Drumline every week, but my marching band camp doesn't start until the end of August. Excited, though! Our theme is clocks, so we're playing the song Clocks by Coldplay ^.^

So review, review, review!

~Eva Sirico~


	20. I Need Chocolate

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR**

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><p>~Chapter 20~<p>

The three of us are the stupidest people ever. After getting lost (and bit by numerous mosquitoes - pesky things!) we eventually came to the conclusion that yes, this is orc-infested woods. Damn.

"We need to hide!" Merry-minion hissed as the sounds of the orcs stamping through the woods came closer and closer.

"Quick! Under there!" I hissed, pointing to a space behind some fallen trees with heavy, leafy brush surrounding it. The three of us scrambled in there, me saying every swear word I had ever heard in my lifetime over and over again in my head.

The quick scampering of feet, different from the orcs, alerted us to the fact that we were no longer alone. Frodo fell/ran across the path from us, taking refuge behind a large tree.

"Frodo-minion!" I whispered gleefully. "You're okay! Rejoice!"

"Hide here!" Pippin whispered to him. "Quick! Quick!"

Frodo slowly shook his head at us. I blinked. "Wait, what? What's going on here?"

"He's leaving," Merry whispered, looking stunned.

"Hell to the no!" I cried, jumping out of the hiding spot with Pippin at my heels. After a split moment's hesitation, Merry followed us. The three of us were now in the open, and I gulped when I saw a dozen Uruk-hai heading our way. HEY! I REMEMBERED THEIR NAME! I started cheering inside my head, but it was quickly squashed at the thought that they saw us.

"Run, Frodo! Go!" Merry whispered urgently to him.

"They've seen us; you can get away safely," I added, serious for once in my life. Then, a brilliant idea struck me. "OI! DUNG-FACE! OVER HERE!" I screamed at them, waving my arms and heading in the opposite direction from Frodo. The two hobbit-minions followed my lead, calling to them and running in the opposite direction.

"Shit!" I hissed as I realized something. "Now they're after us!"

"Really?" Pippin hissed sarcastically as we ran. "I never would've guessed!"

"It's working, though!" I cheered.

"Yes, it's working!" Merry said impatiently. "Run!"

The troop of Uruk-hai followed us closely as we ran. As we approached a stone bridge and started over it, I gasped to the others, "Is anyone else having a deja vu moment?" They didn't answer, because as we crossed over the bridge, another troop of Uruk-hai appeared in front of us. We were surrounded.

"This is the end," I said mournfully, drawing my sword. "Bye, minions. Nice being evil with ya."

A fearsome yell sounded at that moment, and Boromir-child came charging in, swinging his sword and taking out the Uruk-hai. I pumped a fist in the air, cheering. "YAH! GO, CHILD, GO!"

Boromir took out his horn and sounded it. The loud blast rang through the trees, and I hopefully looked to see if Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli would come bursting through the trees to help us, but no one was there except for the Uruk-hai.

The Uruk-hai attacked Boromir, and he was forced to abandon blowing his horn to defend himself. I swept my sword out as the Uruk-hai grew too close, and it forced them to retreat. Merry and Pippin picked up rocks and started throwing them at the Uruk-hai.

Boromir fought like a boss. He was killing orcs left and right, and I would stab the ones that weren't quite dead. Boromir glanced up and his face betrayed horror at the sight of us still there. "Sammy! Merry, Pippin! Run!" he yelled.

"You need someone to save your ass!" I yelled back. I caught sight of an Uruk-hai picking up a bow and aiming at Child with his arrow. "NO!" I screamed, leaping into the fray to try to reach the Uruk-hai, but I was too late.  
>The black-fletched arrow hit Boromir in his right shoulder. Gasping, he recoiled from the blow, while Merry and Pippin looked on in horror. The Uruk-hai began to close in but Boromir gave a battle cry. He rose again and swung his sword at the nearest Uruk, who fell.<p>

The Uruk-hai with the bow raises and shoots him again. I stood next to Merry and Pippin, frozen in shock as I watched Boromir pick himself up and try to attack again, only to be shot for a third time. Boromir fell to his knees and didn't get up again, while his horn was cloven in two.

Merry and Pippin picked up their swords and attacked the Uruk-hai, screaming. A second or two after, I was able to move again. Crying, I went to go attack them as well but an Uruk-hai kicked me back. I fell to the ground. I watched, winded, as the Uruk-hai picked up Merry and Pippin and ran away with them. "NO!" I screamed, but I couldn't do anything.

It was only me, Boromir, and the Uruk with the bow. Ignoring me, he raised the bow, aiming at Boromir. No. No no no NO! Not Child! Climbing to my feet I grabbed my drumsticks at raced forward, smacking him in the face with them.  
>Ever been seriously hit by drumsticks? It's not a pleasant feeling, I can tell you that. The Uruk jerked and the arrow flew off harmlessly. A familiar yell broke through the air, and Aragorn attacked the Uruk fiercely. I hurried forward to see Boromir.<p>

He was lying on his back, gasping for breath. "Child, you better stay with me!" I pleaded as I helplessly sat beside him.

"You were the most annoying person I ever met, and you have many strange customs from your land, but I am honored to call you friend," Boromir croaked out. He managed a weak grin. "I knew those drumsticks were a good weapon."

Aragorn dropped by Boromir's other side. "No!"

Boromir grabbed Aragorn's shoulder. "They have the little ones," he whispered.

"Be still," Aragorn ordered checking his wounds.

"Frodo!" Boromir insisted. "Where is Frodo?"

In shock, I reeled backwards, backing away from the scene. This was Boromir...I loved to annoy him, and constantly did so throughout the journey. We got off on a rocky start (he used to be a sexist pig) but we got along fine after that. He began to change...but his old self would come through every once in a while. This was Old Boromir-child right now. And he was dead.

A sob escaped me as I realized his hair was still green. Legolas and Gimli arrived on the scene at the moment that Aragorn kissed his forehead. Boromir was dead.

Aragorn stood up at that moment. "They will look for his coming from the White Tower, but he will not return."

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><p>Boromir was laid to rest in one of the boats. His sword was clasped in his hands, while his shield was placed above his hands. His horn, split in two, laid by his side. As a thought, I pulled my jar of dirt out of my pack and put it by his head, as a final gesture of farewell.<p>

The boat slipped over the falls and out of our sight. I stared after it, a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. Did Boromir die in the movies? I'm pretty sure he did... To my nine-year-old self, it was just a movie. People die in the movies all the time. But actually meeting him and becoming friends and then seeing him die...

Someone get me some friggin chocolate.

Legolas shoved a boat in the water. "Hurry! Sam and Frodo would have reached the eastern shore by now!" When silence reached him, Legolas turned around and stared at Aragorn. "You mean not to follow them?"

"Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands," Aragorn explained.

"Then it has all been in vain!" Gimli said. "The Fellowship has failed."

Aragorn put a hand on my shoulder and on Gimli's. "Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left."

A hopeful grin started to form on my face. We were going to rescue my hobbit-minions?

"Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light." A grin stretched over his face. "Let's hunt some orc."

"Let's do this!" I cheered, and followed him, sticking my drumsticks back into my back pocket, and making sure my recorder was still stuck in my boot. My sword was sheathed at my side.

I was ready for anything.

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><p>AN

Kind of a depressing chapter. All well. Buuuut guess who she meets in the next chapter? :D This should get interesting *maniacal laugh maniacal laugh*

Wow...nearly 150 reviews! I LOVE YOU ALL! Hahaha :)

Review and you get chocolate! ^.^ I do love chocolate...

~Eva Sirico~


	21. Oodles of Running

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, Pirates of the Caribbean**

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><p>Running.<p>

Running.

Oodles of running.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

I collapsed on the ground next to Aragorn, who currently had his ear pressed to the ground, as if listening for something. "Their pace has quickened. They must have caught our scent. Hurry!"

And he was off again. Seriously, there's no dealing with that guy. I stood up, bent over, gasping for breath as I tried to slow my racing heart. Legolas appeared next to me. "Come on, Gimli!" he called to the dwarf, who was a ways behind us.

Legolas knelt down next to me, and helped me up. "Come on, Sammy. We must catch up."

"You guys owe me big," I muttered but followed Whelp as we took off again. I glanced behind us to see Gimli a ways away, muttering to himself.

As we enter a valley, Aragorn stopped and knelt down, picking something up. "Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall." I hurried closer to see a familiar, leaf-shaped brooch.

"So they're alive!" I cheered, still gasping for breath, a large smile breaking over my face.

"One day ahead of us; come!" Aaaand he was off! Stupid Strider. Huh. I guess that's where he gets his name, I mused as I ran behind Legolas.

As we run over a hill, the three of us paused. "Rohan," Aragorn breathed. "Home of the Horse-Lords."

"Wicked," I muttered, collapsing on a rock.

"There's something strange at work here," Aragorn muttered. "Some evil gives speed to these creatures, sets its will against us."

I held my hand up. "I think it might be Maleficent. She was one scary witch."

To no one's surprise, I was ignored.

"At least Boromir would have responded, even if it would have been an insult," I muttered under my breath.

"Legolas!" Aragorn called. "What do your elf eyes see?"

"The Uruks turn northeast," Whelp responded. "They are taking the hobbits to Isengard!"

I stared at him. "Say that again."

Whelp blinked. "They are taking the hobbits to Isengard?"

I continued to stare at him for a moment, before bursting out in laughter. "For some reason, that is the funniest statement I heard in some days."

Legolas shook his head and ran after Aragorn, who had started running - again. Surprise, surprise.

We ran for some time hardly making any conversation. "Keep breathing," Gimli advised me at one point. "That's the key. Keep breathing."

Night passed. Dawn arrived, painting the sky a deep red. Legolas paused. "A red sun rises. Blood has been spilt this night."

I stopped as well, gasping for air. "Isn't that an old sailors saying? 'Red skies at night, sailors delight. Red skies at morning, sailors take warning.'"

Piccolo glanced at me, a confused look on his face. "I have never heard that saying before." He glanced up. "Come, Sammy. We must go."

Joy. We still have to run.

As we caught up to the others, the sound of horses broke through the silence on the plain. Aragorn paused, before motioning us to hide in a cropping of rock. I followed them into the rock and crouched down beside Gimli.

A large cavalry rode by, their shields flashing in the sunlight. They were dressed in full armour with spears in their hands. As they passed, Strider walked out of the hiding place with us three faithful companions behind him. "Riders of Rohan!" he shouted. "What news from the Mark?"

At a signal from the person in lead, the Riders began to turn around and head back towards us. In a quick moment, the cavalry encircled us, pointing their spears at us. The four of us held our hands up in surrender.

One of the men rides up. "What business does a Man, an elf, and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?" A flicker of surprise passes through his eyes. "You have a woman with you?"

Aragorn immediately turned to placate me, but it was too late. "I could say the same thing about your group!" I snapped at him, sick of all the sexist children.

His mouth twisted in anger. "You would do well to hold your tongue!" he snapped at me.

"I will when-" I began.

"Sammy!" Aragorn interrupted, glaring at me. I quieted, but still glared at the man in charge. Arrogant asshole.

"Give me your name, horsemaster, and I will give you mine," Gimli declared.

The man handed his spear off and dismounted. "I would cut off your head, _dwarf_, if it stood but a little higher from the ground."

Legolas and I reacted at the same time. My drumsticks appeared in my hands as Whelp's bow was drawn and aimed at the man. "You would die before your stroke fell!" Legolas snapped as the men's spears grew closer to us.

"_Now _you insult _him?_ Oh, it is ON!" I held my drumsticks up, ignoring the sword at my waist.

Aragorn pushed down Legolas's arm and gripped my wrist warningly. "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn," he said. "This is Gimli son of Gloin, Legolas of the Woodland realm, and Sammy of Rivendell. We are friends of Rohan and of Theoden, your king."

The man hesitated. "Theoden no longer recognizes friend from foe." He hesitated, removing his helmet. "Not even his own kin."

"And your name is...?" I asked, still rather angry.

He gave me an exasperated look. "Eomer, son of Eomund." He turned back to Aragorn as the spears were withdrawn. "Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over this land. My company are those loyal to Rohan. And for that, we are banished."

"The White Wizard is cunning. He walks here and there they say, as an old man, hooded and cloaked." Eomer paused to give Whelp a meaningful look. "And everywhere his spies slip past our nets."

"Whoa, wait!" I objected, ignoring Aragorn's warning arm on my wrist. "Are you crazy? There is no way that Wh- Legolas is a spy!"

"Sammy," Aragorn warned through gritted teeth before looking at Eomer. "We are not spies. We track a band of Uruk-Hai westward across the plains. They have taken two of our friends captive."

"The Uruks are destroyed," Eomer replied. "They were slaughtered during the night." My eyes widened, my heart pounding. What about Merry and Pippin? My minions?

"But there were two hobbits!" Gimli objected, horror lining his face. "Did you see two hobbits with them?!"

"They would be small, only children to your eyes," Aragorn explained.

There was a moment of silence. "We left none alive," Eomer said quietly, guilt flashing across his face. I couldn't speak. "We piled the carcasses and burned them," he continued, motioning towards the smoke in the distance.

"Dead?" Gimli whispered.

"First Boromir, and now Merry and Pippin?" I whispered softly. There was no way in hell I signed up for this. Legolas put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

Eomer let out a whistle. "Hasufel! Arod!" Two horses trotted up. "May these horses bear you to better fortune than the former masters." He nodded to us. "Farewell."

I looked up at him, still stunned, to see him looking at me. Eomer quickly shifted his gaze to Aragorn. "Look for your friends, but do not trust the hope. It has forsaken these lands." To his cavalry, he shouted, "We ride north!"

I watched them depart before looking back at my companions. "We're going to find them, right?"

Aragorn looked grim. "Come; let us go."

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><p>AN

Whew! Back! *rejoices*

Yeah, it's been a while, but I've been busy with marching band *throws confetti* and school. Also, my muse just up and left xP

Our show is AMAZING so far! Our first competition is this weekend, so wish me luck! XD

**Theotherbandgeek**: Please don't worry if I don't update for a while. Seriously, I'm not abandoning this story xD Please just be a little patient with me. I tend to skip from story to story, and I've been concentrating on some original stories.

Until next time~!

~Eva Sirico~

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><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

...you hold the door open with a drumstick.


	22. Fangorn Question Mark

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR**

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><p>It was silent as we rode towards the burning carcasses. I scrunched up my face in disgust at the sight of a severed orc head on a spear, thrust into the ground, but my heart leaped in fear at the sight of all the bodies. Were Merry and Pippin in there...?<p>

If something happened to them, Eomer was going to pay.

Gimli started going through the pile with his axe, then gulped. "It's one of their wee belts," he said, holding it up.

"No. No it's not. It can't be," I inisisted, staring at it, wishing it would vanish.

Legolas laid a comforting hand on my shoulder, and murmured a prayer in Elvish. I scrambled to remember...did this happen in the movies? Or was it because - once again - I appeared here and somehow changed it? Like Gandalf dying...now don't even open that can of worms...

Maybe I did something during the fight...Maybe Boromir defended me and they wouldn't have been taken if he hadn't...Maybe they would still be alive...

"STUPID MAYBES!" I yelled to the sky.

Aragorn kicked an orc helmet and fell to the ground, letting out a yell. I bit my lip and turned away, facing towards the forest. It would have been mayhem during the fight. Maybe...just maybe...

"Aragorn," I said suddenly. "D'you think they went all ninja and somehow escaped?"

Strider froze and stared at the ground. "Escaped..." he murmured, tracing something on the ground with his hand. "A hobbit lay here, and the other." He looked up. "They crawled." Eagerly, I followed behind Aragorn as he bebop-ed around the field, staring at something I couldn't see.

"Their hands were bound." He caught sight of an axe. "Their bonds were cut." He held up a broken rope in his hands.

"So they're alive?" I asked, daring to hope.

"The tracks lead away from the battle! Into... Fangorn Forest," Aragorn said, staring at the gnarled and imposing trees in front of us.

"I was right!" I cheered. "They are alive!"

Gimli, on the other hand, gasped, "Fangorn! What madness drove them in there?"

I blinked. "That does not sound like Fangorn is a good thing..."

"I've heard many stories about that place, lass," Gimli rumbled. "None of them good."

"Joy. Rejoice," I muttered sarcastically under my breath, but followed my three friends into the forest. "I still want some chocolate."

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><p>AN

Yes! I'm alive! Rejoice! *throws confetti* Seriously though, marching band and schoolwork have been taking over my life. Marching band is over (GOLD MEDAL! ALL 5 STARS!) but jazz band has begun!

Yeah, sorry about the shortness of this chapter. I don't know when the next one will be up (NaNoWriMo, yah know), but I'll try to get it up soon.

So how's band been going for all of you? :)

~Eva Sirico~

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><p>YOU MIGHT BE A BAND GEEK IF...<p>

...you constantly sing old band tunes three or four years after graduating.


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